D3viL Yang

Ambiguity ,again.

2011-12-07T01:12:00.000-08:00

Ambiguity makes people feel wronged
they can't find evidence of love
the right time to get closer, the right time to give up
Can't even bring up the courage to hug one another

I can only accompany you up to here
After all, there are some things that I cannot do
Surpassing friendship, not quite reaching love
It's about to rain in a faraway place

Should I cry?
Is it you or I who thinks too much?
I'm really not convinced and I start to suspect
Is the person in front of me really the same you?

Ambiguity makes people greedy
until waiting loses its meaning
I cannot bear the fact that we cannot write out an ending
Let the beauty of regret stop right here

It's not under my control.

2011-11-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

I missed the way u call my name.
I missed the way u tell me jokes.
I missed the way u talk to me.
I missed the way u trolling around.
I missed everything about you.

Only passed 2 days, and I can miss u so badly.

I took up my courage to text u when ever I missed you.
I took up my courage to talk to u when ever I feel bored.
I took up my courage trying to joke around so that we wont go into awkward mode.

I tried, I really did.
But something seems to be not right, that is, u wouldnt want to continue what ever im trying to do.

everytime I logged in to facebook, there must be a message left for me in my inbox, that is from u.
Now, it pops up often, but its not ur name...
i often clicked ur name to see wather if u're with the green light .
everytime the facebook message popped up all i was hoping to see is ur name...
1 notification popped up, i hope it was u spamming it...

lots of my friends looking me for a chat lately , i dont know why.
but i dont feel happy at all.
becoz those isnt who i want to speak to.

today, 1 of my friends chatted with me on facebook.
his message popped up calling me " yang yanggg ~~!!" like that.
i never noticed the name after i saw how he called me, becoz it reminds me of u...!

everything happened around me i wish it had something to do with u !
and that is when i realize Im so not use to not having u in a part of my daily life!

I MISS YOU
SO
DAMN
MUCH
UNTIL I
CAN'T
DESCRIBE IT
WITH
WORDS !

Rejected.

2011-11-17T04:31:00.000-08:00

yeap, finally got rejected , in a very obvious way.

actually i knew the answer from the very start, i just dont wanna believe it.
becoz i stupidly think there's still hope?

what hope?
idk. hahaha...

rmb what i said?
i wasnt asking for a relationship from the start, i just wanna let u know my feelings.
i didnt mess with you.
i wasnt messing around.
im not playing with you.

i did all that becoz i want to.
i wasnt asking for ur attention or anything from u.

but pls, dont say im messing around.
i wasnt.
i really did like you.

and last but not least,

RAWR !! im not giving up on u anyway xD
see ya again <3
muackz <3

Torturing .

2011-11-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

u're torturing me.

u knew i had a secret that i dont wanna tell.
and yet u're forcing me to tell it.

sometimes, the problem isnt trust or lie.
its my problem, i want to keep it to myself.
i wanna tell no one els.

wouldnt u just let me be?

u're being all unhappy and saying hurtful stuffs to me if i wouldnt tell u about it.

and u're telling me u said all those words just to hurt me, make me feel bad, forcing me tell, and wat so ever, u're telling me u did all this on purpose !

why?!

u knew it will hurt a lot , u knew it ! and yet u wanna continue !
no matter how strong im trying to be im still a girl !

do i deserve all this ?
just for u to know about my secret?!

u're not forcing me to tell !
u're forcing me to leave!

im hurt.
i really am.

你赢了。
切切低低的赢了。

and yet, i still like u.
u tear me up, break me down, i still like u.
love really is blind.

Can I?

2011-11-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

I have to ask for your permission to do so.
If not, Im afraid that you might get mad.

Can I text you everyday?
You dont have to reply me anything, I just wanna text you.

Can I call you everyday?
Not phone call, like calling your name on facebook, no reason for calling ,I just wanna call your name.

Can I see you everyday?
Only those days with classes, just a peek .No reason, just wanna know how are you doing that day.

Can I look at your name on facebook everyday?
I dont know if you're online or offline, I just like to click on your name and check back the messages we've been through and I smile alone like an idiot.

Can I think of you everyday?
Just giving myself a reason to smile each day.

Can I stalk you everyday?
Im curious of what have you been through the whole day (on facebook).

Can I accompany you until you go to bed everynight?
Cause I cant sleep if you're still awake.

Can I care for you when you're sick?
Im worried, no joke.

Can I talk to you when Im sad?
Cause I miss your jokes.

Can I say flirty things to you?
Cause sometimes I really wanna express my feelings.

Can I hide my embarrass-ness when I want to?
Cause I dont want you to see the blushy me.

Can I?
these are all the extra things I wanna do each day.
Am I allow to do so?

but there's one thing I cant control right now.
Please allow me to continue liking you for now.

oh and one more thing, please tell me the truth if you started to think Im annoying.
Cause that is when I have to start to get use to without you around everynight/day in my life.

If I'm not allow to do either one of those above ,
then I'll just ask for one last one,

**
Can I give up on you now?
Cause its torturing my emotional and feelings.

Dont ask me why,
I'm not begging for your interest.
I'm not calling for anything.
I did it because I want to.

****

Wrong?

2011-10-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i just feel like something is not right in between us.
and yet, i wanna continue liking u.

U're a boy who wish to be a girl.
and
I'm a girl who wish to be a guy.

see the problem?

can we do something about it?
coz im making every 1st move.

nothing's wrong making the 1st move, its just that, IM A GIRL DAMN IT.
forget it.

there's no answer, no replies, no move, no nothing.
maybe its just a dream? i hope i can wake up soon.
coz,

it's tearing up my heart when im with you.
when we are apart , i feel it too,
and no matter what i do,
i feel the pain,
with or without you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pls wake up.
please.

Ambiguous (?)

2011-10-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

Dont ask, I google translate the title. =v=~
let see, the news spread fast. (among my pals)

after posting the blog posts, Phyl and Wynd came to me and ask about this Guy im talking about.
well, Phyl was betting that i wont fall for him, but Wynd bet i would.

and well, to be honest, i cant believe it myself.
this time, im not looking on "looks", instead, personality.

why do u like him?
- because, he's unique.

how?
- idk, its just, i dont often get comments from/heard about.

reason?
- he cheered me up when ever im sad. thats more than enough for me.

so, dont ask ;)
______________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

well, so far, so good.

like usual, one night i was playing Emo.
idk what cause it, but, im very Emo that night.
Sad :(

U were online, trying to cheer me up.
thx :)
but its not working. (at 1st)
telling me jokes, doing stupid faces, writing crazy words...etc...

I was still sad and depressed.
then, u said something, made me burst out laughing like hell x'D

about ur secondary school teacher talking kinda stuffs. hahaha x'D

and yes,

everytime, at the end,

You will cheer me up, no matter what.
thank you :) so much.

_____________________________________

continuously, few nights, we were chatting a lot.
our facebook messages increased to nearly 7k.
I cant believe it.

well, but still, no answer from u.
just plain rubbish chat together.

u said i nvr give u the chance.
actually, do i really need to ask for ur answer?

i didnt ask, but i know u know im waiting.
_________________________________.....

....
....
.........to be honest,

i want to know your answer.
but im afraid to know what is it.
i'd rather wait, and act like i dont remember.

who knows it might work out and settle someday?
if its good news, it'll come.
if its bad news, at least i have time to give up .

...............
u said u need time to get use to it.
but
have u ever think that
i need time too
i need time to get use to not having u around.

so, dont tell me u think deeper than anyone els,
coz, u dont know a thing about me, when i 1st fall for u.

__________________________________

If i can like someone up to 4 years,
dont expect me to like the 2nd or the 3rd or even the upcoming ones for just a short while.

the only way i can give up , is to find a new target.
if not, i'll stick on to u, until the next one comes to me. ;)

Awkward.

2011-10-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

It has been few days after the confession.

We're meeting each other in college.
but only something different in between us.

we're not that close like we use to, anymore.

why?
because, it feels awkward.

how come?
dont chu get it, after confessing to someone that u'll see everyday, its kinda hard to handle that situation as both of you will get really embarrass.

am i?
YES I AM.
i thought i can handle the awkward-ness in between us.
but no, im heart beating fast when i sense that u were around.
no kidding, really !
i was shy to look at you, that's why i dont look u in the eye.

but that doesnt mean that we arent friends.
i never say hi, neither you. *hurts*

i wanted to let you know i wasnt acting all cool and stuffs, im just trying to hide myself from blushing in front of you. i cant focus my mind if u're around...

u can say hi to ur friends, but u seems to be a little aware of me being around too.
i wonder why? haha...

on the day we do freelance together, someone was like asking u: why are u so quiet today??
u didnt answer.

*actually we wasnt being quiet, we're just under awkward mode at the moment. ;)

right? ;)

Relief?

2011-10-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

Yeap, the same old starting paragraph of a long time blog.

"Finally Im able to update my blog!"

Well, actually I wanted to update it earlier, but my assignments and freelances is blocking my way of doing it .
!@#$%^&*(.....

And, now, the main point.
___________________________________________

Few nights, we've been chatting till morning. (nearly 4/5am)
I love that feeling, silence at night, its like only listening to u.

and that few night, make me wanna make my confession.
what confession?
the confession of.......my feelings for you.

I wonder when i started to like you?
oh there, now i remember.

It was last semester, I remember that moment, I was stress to death, continuously for a few nights, just to rush the damn assignment for the up coming assessment.

I felt like I was all alone.
Stressing all by myself, Torturing my body, Hesitated mind......
I want to talk to someone, but I have no idea who that will be in mind.
then, you came to me.

A Facebook message popped up sound comes in.
It was you. So we started to chat a lot after that day.
Even leaving posts on our own wall saying that we miss each other,
well it was kinda flirty feeling. i didn't be aware, just playing with you.

and there's one night i remembered it very clearly, i was so stressed out and tired but i haven't finish my work, so I decided to chat with u to make myself awake. U tell me jokes, to make me laugh, and yet it worked, i was awake and continue with my work !
that is when i started to like like you ;)

but our times ended fast.
after our assessment, we seldom talk to each other. even when im online, i didnt see you. guessing u werent free or working. so i didnt bother much.

days passes, the feeling started to came back to me. and that is when , i thought of u.
checking on ur status, wondering where are u, why arent u online. questions popping out of my mind, all because of you.

new semester started, and we began to talk again after the 1st week started.
you remembered me, you said we didnt play for a long time.
yes, of course i kw, u werent online, how can we even chat?

I didnt even think about what i was gonna type, and i told u: when u werent around i felt so lonely and depress :'( ,adding on a sad crying face)
You pause and smile to me and said : Im so happy to hear that im needed xDD
i added on : u were always needed, its just that u didnt notice.
then we went silent.

days passed, the time im thinking about you started to occupy my mind, i cant focus on what i need to do, because u were all over my mind.

few nights, i tried sms u, tried chatted with u, but u seem different compare to the last semester.
you didnt bother much about me.
is that normal ? i asked myself, why didnt he care? why didnt he asked about me? why?

i dont know what's going on.
that, is when, i kw i really like you. you cant get out of my mind.

few nights, we've been chatting again. i have an urge to confess to u.
i dont know why, i just feel like wanting to let you kw.
i try to put on some hints, on sms, on chat, i was giving u a hint and want you to get confuse and so u'll ask me, and that's where my chance to tell u my feelings !

but no!
u didnt, instead, u were trying to pull off the topic and dont wanna continue .
find, i'll just accompany u to change topic and not talk about that.
but then u turn a big round and pull back the story !

why ?! u're so cruel !!

Im trying to stop myself from thinking to much !
and trying to stop my day dreaming !
because i have a feeling that this might not work out !

u're like pulling me towards and pushing away at the same time, i dont know what you want !

Im not you :(
I dont know what you think.
I only wanna let you know how i feel.
i dont really care how it ends.

Until one night, u popped up a message and told me u were LOA, wanted to chat.
fine, alright, im glad to entertain u :)
that night u seems like u wanna ask me something, but dont know how to start up the question.
as if u want me to tell u straight without u asking a single word.

U said asking me might turned us into awkward mode in the next time we meet.
Fine. Im told myself i was ready to take the awkward situation.
but then like always, u changed the topic and said something els.
i was like : WTH ...=.=...

finally i cant stand ti anymore, i remembered it was 2.30am. we were on facebook.
i asked u," do you like me?"
u were like ," huh? which like are u talking about? like or like like?"
i said both.
u answered, " of course i like you , as for like like... i still dont dare to do so."

and there we have it. I've already got my answer.

i pause for a while hesitating what to reply, then u popped another message up asking about how about me.
I dont know how to answer you in a different way other than I like You.

but then u changed the topic asking about my passed relationships.
I told you everything, including the time during secondary school, met up with special people, how it changes my whole personality up-side-down, and stuffs.

surprisingly i just told u everything.
and then u start to bring up the topic again.
finally, i put up my guts, and tell u how i feel.

"I think i kinda/sorta/maybe like like you."

omg, i was relief O.o''

and then u came in like :" i kinda/sort/maybe know u like like me."
u said u think deeper than normal humans, calling yourself the smart one. LOL...

anyway.... Im glad i finally get to tell u.

how bout ur answer? :) *smiles*

*to be continued*

Alone.

2011-09-28T11:52:00.000-07:00

Im desperate.

I have no mood to further anything .
I have no one to like or love.
I have no one to rely on.
I have no one to care for.

well, actually not "no one", just, my life is missing "someone".

I feel all alone.

Im a girl.
Of course I would like someone to love me and care for me.

No matter how strong I act in the outside, Im still alone.
How fancy I dressed,
How nice I am,
How cool I acted,
Im still 1 person.

I want to love, but I don't dare to.
I don't like being rejected. It hurts, a lot.
I'd rather stay silent and wait.

I believe 1 day, someone will come.
Im not devilish enough to be considered a devil, coz I need LOVE.
how disgusting it is, for a devil to LOVE.

but it's true, Im feeling desperate and I need Love.

Will U* be the one for me?

***
wtf am i writing. duh, sad stuffs, which i hate a lot.
but it's too true to admit about it.

Empty ** nesS

2011-08-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

Seriously, Im starting to get fed-up with this.

Feeling so empty and missing something .

oh yea, gotta congratz for the New Couple ----KokKok & AnntAnnt xDDDDD
really suprized me OvO.....and yea, they some how made a good couple (?)

Im bored.
Bored of assignments, bored of works, bored of competition.

Im bored of everything els.
Im bored of you.

I want something new, I want something exciting, I want something that can make me go Wild !
like what ?

I wanna try something new.
Being a Boy ?
Crossplaying ?
Going Lesbian ?

I dont know.

I want to be alone.
When can I be free?
When can I see my Buddies again ?
When can I sleep for full 8 hrs a day ?

I wish i could just ignore everything irritating around me.
I wish I wouldnt get so pissed off sometimes for no reason.
I wish I can say no to everything u requested.
I wish I could stop myself for making all these stupid dreams.

I wish , You were mine.

Crush ?

2011-07-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

Yeap, finally I have a little time to update my blog . =D

let's see, what i've been up to lately:

1. my club launched, it was a disaster =)
2. kidChan is coming to our college, supported by our club. =)
3. my assistant secretary quit/fired, so i'll have to do most of the work myself. =)
4. assignments getting harder, website design, information kiosk, 3D animation , etc. =)
5. getting more and more wasting money these days, so im broke now. =)
6. getting fatter these few weeks, i dont know when i became [ love to eat], pls do stop me if u're going to eat with me outside . =)
7. college's PK singing challenge is over, and the results is : Boys' Win !!

-cheers for QiQi-

[ most of us went to the show just to see Qiqi's performance, haha, but he seems to be nervous and stuffs, so he didnt fail us , only some of the parts he sang wasnt that good/pro . we were hoping to see him get 1st prize, but who knows some 'fariz' guy came out and take away the stage. ]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

these days i've been listening to a song, its [ My Secret] . I love the lyrics, i believe for those people who have been trough [crushing on someone], u'll like it too . ;)

anyways,
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You,
Got my Attention when we 1st met.

I remembered clearly, that day I was very busy running here and there,
and You, standing in 1 corner quietly, observing everything around You.
Everyone was busy walking around, only You standing right there,
I walked pass You and get my 1st sight on You,
and that moment, You, Attracted me.

who knows, You came to us after that day.

I don't know what reason made this to happened,
but,
thank god that I've got the chance to meet such a Person like You.

You know what?
I fall in love after that wonderful piece of melody ,
You reminded me it wasn't one look to judge someone, there are still many beautiful people out there waiting upon us.
Thank You for reminding me.

I wonder if I've got a chance to know You even more?
XD

3.05am

2011-06-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

I wonder how long i havent update my blog.
hmmm...i really dont know .

i've been addicted for staying up late everynight.
why?

its the stupid online chating game IMVU who keeps me staying up all night !
zzzzzz
i know its bad, i know its not good, i know i shouldnt do that.
everything i know is I KNOW !
but 1 part of me just dont wanna stop it !
damn it .

Guys, how are yall doing out there ?
how's school Phyl?
are u doing fine Diz?
how's it going in TOA Jack?
any interesting story to share Mok?

who els...?
idk.
everytime i feel bored . only this few names appear in me.
i really dont know who els i left out. ( the closes 1s)
.

oh and maybe missing some friends in IMVU?
thats it?

there's still college friends :)
Kuan? how are ya doing girl ?! missed ya XD

..................................
.............
oh what the hack, i look like im talking to myself zzzzz
anyways, im doing great lately, been busy.*for real, not busying imvu stuffs.
bcoz of the damn it anime club i joined = =.....

and yeah, thats about it .
my next update will be ~~~~**idk either XD

Never Disappeared

2011-06-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

Randomly I signed in to my Blogger and check to see if any of my friends have updated their blog.
The main reason is so see if they're doing well.

I scroll and scroll and scroll......and clicked into each and everyone of them who had updated.

***
Our life is becoming more challenging when every second of time from the clock is ticking away.
And also, more and more of our important memory is starting to fade away ,like how?

Memories from secondary school perhaps?
the time when we're still wearing blue uniforms and green pans .
those were the times we laugh and play and being like a kid.

childish huh?

nope. sometimes i wish we can think like a kid for the rest of our lives.
kids don't need to worry about much, kids only know 'who's my friend', 'what am i going to play today?', 'what am i going to have for meals today?'....etc.

see, kids don't need to take up the responsibility to worry about the stuffs around them.
and that is when we have the most natural and innocent smile on our face .

anyways, that wasn't my main point about today's post.

what I was trying to say is :

Memories aren't 'blind', once I've met you, you'll be in my mind, no matter how long time goes.

Tui Na (?)

2011-05-26T08:51:00.001-07:00

yeap. another wonderful experience.....

conclusion: IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is what i get :

Eye Blinded

2011-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

okay forget about the online love game thing.

now im totally regret on what i just mentioned yesterday in my blog.

im so not inlove with some1 on the internet, and im so going back to single no matter online or somewhere els.

relationships are so complicated to understand @__@.....

so i rather choose to be a lesbian or stay single XP , hahaha.....

Dont be serious idiot.

2011-05-18T11:15:00.001-07:00

telling myself not to be so serious in games.
and yes, how clever of me to play 'outside the lines'.

i think there's something going on with me these days.
i cant seem to concentrate.

feels like missing him, but den i wish we werent together.

once i feel like breaking up, den the memories poped out and makes me so emotional.
then i find myself another reason not to break up, becoz i love him.

yea i said it.

i love some1 in the game i played.
he's a married-man, and he's older than me 20 years.
i cant believe i accepted him ,in the game.

the most unexpected thing is , i accidentally fall for him for real.

i cant concentrate, i cant draw, i cant get idea, i cant get him out of my stupid mind.
i want to break up! and stop this stupid dream!
his wife is observing him when he's in the game, how am i suppose to get that outta my mind!

everytime with him (in the game), i cant talk much. becoz i have that damn feeling like some1 is watching over him , and i dont wanna ruin his life .

its not my business okay，play ur game, i'll play mine.

i fall for u once, but not this time, u changed, and i dont really like it.
dont tell me how should i dress, dont fucking say my fashion taste is bad, dont even try to think that im with another guy if u dont know what really happened!

im not ur kitten! im just plain old devil scarletven, try to love me by the way i am instead of being ur little kitten.

bullshit!!!@$()_!@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()........

*i know i'll regret everything i said after i read this post back tmr. just ignore my post.

Pissed Off

2011-05-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

go die la u...............
u realize it and u're saying that u're didnt do anything wrong, u're saying that u're right all along.
what kind of fucking excuse is this?!

bullshit!! u're extremely annoying even they said so, admit that bloody shit and get the hell outta this place! noob.
!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()_!@#$%^&*()_+..............

WTF is this.

2011-04-25T05:09:00.000-07:00

Dont fucking want me to lower down my head to you.

Im not ur little kitty cat nor ur little angel.I dont have those juicy eyes.

Imma DEVIL . I B.I.T.E.

There's always a limitation in each and every1 of us.
I'll do my best in my role. I'll try to keep this in shape with all my heart.
I dont want this to end.
But pls, dont see me as a little kitten behind ur kitchen.
treat me as a tiger that scratch and bites whenever it's MAD.

*RAWR!!

Pencil & Eraser

2011-04-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I copied pasted this post after i found this on facebook. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.

"All my life, I've been the pencil.. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have..." This is to all the parents out there...

** Like, like ,like <3

一瞬间的回忆 **

2011-04-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

有个人曾说过：

女孩别哭，有什么难过对我说；
女孩别哭，我不愿看见你泪流；
女孩别哭，他犯的错我来承受；
女孩别哭，我的手来沿你的痛。

忍住泪，就算一辈子我只能做你的朋友；

这个人还在，一直都在。
这是他怎么也不会忘记的回忆。

*有时候故意把一分钟的虚幻当作真实，其实会更加快乐。

其实我曾经喜欢过你。

好朋友就是：

2011-04-03T04:35:00.000-07:00

1.好朋友就是经常叫你“去死吧”的那些人……

2.好朋友就是老是说你有病叫你看医生的那些人……

3.好朋友就是抓住你的一个缺点说上半天的那些人……

4.好朋友就是在你面前肆无忌惮地说很难听的话的那些人……

5.好朋友就是看着自己玩的很开心在旁边不参与也会觉得很开心的那些人……

6.好朋友就是会教你怎么走路小心，过马路看车的那些人……

7.好朋友是平时恶型恶相，却在你遇到难事时语重心长地开导你的那些人……

8.好朋友就是那些无论原本是忧郁，沉默或是乐观向上，在一起总是嬉闹声一片的那群人……

9.好朋友是你想起嘴角上扬的那些人……

10.好朋友是时间和距离都无法从你脑海，心中带走的人……

11.好朋友就是听到你说了一句错话笑闹半天还要罗嗦上一段时间的那些人……

12.好朋友就是不经常联系，但你还忘不掉的那个人！

13.好朋友就是俩个人在一起，你不用担心会说什么错话。做错什么事的那个人！

14.好朋友是你会突然想念的那个人！

15.好朋友是无论谁占谁一点便宜都不会计较的那个人！

16.好朋友就是和你同甘共苦。不会出卖你的那个人！

17.好朋友就是什么事都会和你分享的那个人。

18.好朋友就是好久没见，在一起时还会和你套心窝子说话，就像昨天刚在一起吃过饭的那个人！

19.好朋友就是和他在一起时你是最真实的你的那个人。

20.好朋友就是很久没联系，见面也不会尴尬的那个人。

21.好朋友就是无论你做了什么傻事。都会给你支持和信任的那个人。

22.好朋友就是……无论他做了什么，你也觉得他是你好朋友的人！

23.好朋友就是半夜三更会和你一起纠结要不要睡觉的那个人。

24.好朋友就是在你面前会变得啰嗦，你会笑着说他像你妈的那个人。

25.好朋友就是无聊时喜欢凑在一堆一起做无聊的傻事的那些人。

26.好朋友就是会和你在大街上丢脸会拽着你的手狂奔的那个人。

27.好朋友就是会跟你在无意间对视之后再跟你一块放声狂笑的那个人。

28.好朋友就是你会因为他的一句话而充满勇气与信心的那个人。

29.好朋友就是彼此之间喜欢恶作剧并且在恶作剧成功之后两人都笑得很开心！

我们有这样子吗？xD

Outing with Pals =D

2011-03-29T07:24:00.000-07:00

Outing with Daisuke & his beloved gf YiJing XD

they are adorable when they stand together , and YJ 's from China, how cool is that ?!
for what i know so far, they are both very friendly , well, sometimes a little too shy in some ways XD

dont be shy nor scared or anything els, its juat us, we can still smile and laugh together as crazy as we use to be =D

looking forward for the next outing with u guys, oh and Dai,

pls remember to bring my tripod and my SD Card cover next time we meet XD

Its just a stupid dream.

2011-03-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

あいにく。のみ。夢。

那天有个朋友问了我一个很白痴的问题。

“你是不是......喜欢他啊？”

二话不活我就“ 噗！ ”一声，嘴里咬着的面包都差一点喷出来了 = =''
接着我强调说： “这是绝对不可能的事！不要瞎猜了！”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

难道表情出卖了自己？
在这之前的前几天，我发了个不可思议的梦。
当时，我对这个人并没有特别的感觉，只是纯粹兄弟，好朋友，好姐妹的感觉而已。
那梦过后，有种想要逃避他的感觉咧.....

有一段时间我们都在怀疑这个人是不是已经在拍拖了，左想右想都不像是在拍拖，可是又不能说好像没有。我们地狱队都在怀疑他是不是恋爱了？
所以就想找个机会问问他。

好，找到机会问了。
这个人说：“没有啦。”

可是我们还是在怀疑着他的答案。在我们的连问之下，他放弃回答说：“嘿呀！不答了！不睬你们了！”
就这样把我们的问题给无视了。
其实这个问题并没有缠着我，对我而言，有没有都无所谓，反正对我们没有影响，有的话我们不就是给个恭喜和祝福而已吗！没有的话就没有咯。都无所谓。

可是，听得多，想得多，连做梦都回想要问他这个问题。

[梦里]

“呃，我问你啊，你是不是在拍拖啊？”
“没有啊。”
“可是我们都不相信，你说的是真是假？”
“都说没有了。”
“我们都不相信咯。”= =''
“........[不耐烦的表情]....”
“快点讲真话啦~你到底有没有女朋友啊？”
“如果现在有人说ok的话，我就有女朋友咯。”

#

多么白痴的梦，在那瞬间，我信以为真。
觉得很难为情，觉得自己在发梦（真的在发梦），觉得世界变了 ~

一瞬间，我在高兴着。

梦醒过后，回想起来，觉得自己好丢脸阿~~~~~~~~！！！怎么发了这样的梦！！！
觉得自己好无聊啊！！
原本对他毫无心动的我，因为那个白痴梦，面对他我曾经动摇了一下下。。。。。。@______@。。。。。。

幸扬你这个白痴！拜托你看看自己是什么料先好不好！你没有资格去喜欢人家，你没有资格配上人家！不要做梦了！
你的资格就只有好朋友，好姐妹而已，不要再胡思乱想了好不好！

若有人知道了这件事，拜托不要张扬，这是多么尴尬的事情啊............
白痴的我做了个白痴的梦。
但那个梦，真的让我感觉到一分钟的幸福。=)

DATED !!!

2011-03-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!!

MY BRO HAS A GF DY!!!
AHHH!~~~~~

CONGRATZ ZHENG!!!!! CONGRATZ~~~~!!!!
BUT UR GF IS 1 HEAD SHORTER THAN U ! OMG.....

MY BRO HAS A GF!!! A GF!!! I COULDNT BELIEVE IT!!!AHHH!!!!
SO HAPPY FOR HIM!!! XD

MAD >:(

2011-03-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck................................

FUCK THE HELL OUTTA U BITCH!!!!

GET UR FUCKING ASS HOLE OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!
U'RE MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE !!!
YALL ARE CRAZY!!! CRAZY I TELL YA!!!!

WHERE DO U KEEP UR 'FACE' ?! BACKSIDE?!
BULLSHIT I TELL YA!!!

GET THE HELL OUTTA MY SIGHT BEFORE I KILL YA!!!!

WTFFFFF!!!!!!

!@#$&*()_!@#$%&*()!@#%^*()!@$#%&*(!@$#%&*()...................

U're the Only One, Trust Me ;)

2011-02-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

attn : IMVU sick here .

when ever i listen to this song, i will be missing u so badly .
although its an old song, a very VERY OLD song.

杜德伟-嫁给我

小星星　亮晶晶　閃在妳的眼睛裡
　從此走進我的心　呼風又喚雨

　我願意　好願意　雙手奉上我自己
　翻山越嶺找到妳　再也不離去

　愛是我　愛是妳　愛是肯定句
　哦　誰也不能阻擋我　永遠守護妳

　日出日落　黑夜白晝
　時時刻刻擁在懷中

　清清楚楚這感動　分秒刻印成永久
　我望著妳　妳看著我

　有句話我想對妳說
　今生今世跟著我　做妳幸福的理由
　嫁給我

U dont really trust me right?
or u're not comfortable with me being alone all the time when u're not around?
im not sure why do u think that way, but i can tell u one thing :

U're the only one in my heart , and i mean it. ;)
trust me, for once.
u know how will i feel when u think that way about me.
its not easy to meet someone like u.
meet the 1st time , love at 1st sight.<3

i trust u , so , please trust me too . :)
muackz ~~~~<3

Im on my OWN

2011-01-22T07:41:00.000-08:00

Yeap, something happened today.
Family problems, i dont realy wanna talk about it.
im sick of it.

Monday, Videography class, now only me n BJ is taking this subject, the rest, die dy .
(no lah, they dropped this subject.)
3 diff locations, dialogue,action,and most importantly: 1minute.
how am i gonna produce this piece of shit in such a short time?!

where to find actors n a story?!
argh.............DRAG ME TO HELL !!!

im so sick of the fucking stories they've made.
its so fucking XXXXXXXX !!
i know it has nothing to do with me, but i get hated on something very easily.
and what i meant is ANYTHING comes around me, i might hate it 1 day.
i hate it when i start to hate things that i like so much before.

i want my freedom!! i want my quality time!!
leave me alone for a minutes will ya ?!!

Counting On You

2011-01-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

Jordin Sparks ft. Big Time Rush
" Counting On You "

I am about to give my heart so remember this one thing
i have never been in love before soyou gotta go easy onme
i heard love is dangerous but you thought youd never get enough
but the thought of you leaving isnt easy for me
Dont hurt me, desert me, make me sorry i had never counted on you
1,2,3,4 to fall, baby im counting on you
1234 to fall, babby im counting on you
ive been here before, i finally found someone i could adore
but you failed my test but i have repairsno one better so i wasnt theonly 1
but i am willing to put my trust in you

baby you can put your trust in me just let me count to 3
you got me and youre never gonna see
ooh love is in my pocket
and you think im doing this girl
ive got you because you are the one
i am giving my heart to
but i gotta be the only one 1234 fall (yeah)
im counting in you (oh) 1234 to fall (why would i want to do that)
1234 to fall baby i am counting on you
1234 to fall
i am aboiut to give my heart but remember this one thing
i have never been in love before so u gotta make this easy on me

*****
love this song. its awsome.

I need U Bud

2011-01-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

Hey Phyl....

Randomly wanna post this to u, im feeling kindda emo right now......I mean REALLY EMO...
this time is different like the normal emo times!
Its struggling inside me, pulling my hair, shaking my head like HELL!
feels like " I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! "

i wanna talk about something els.
every time when im feeling like that, i NEED someone to talk to, and the 1st person i think of is u .
thx for being in my life :)

i cant talk here, my blog is public after all, i wish blogger have a system where the owner can lock some of the post , haha....
lets see....how can i start....hmm......well its ok i guess not to mention 'the prob' in this post.
as long as i have someone to listen to my rubbish talks, i guess i'll feel better than before :)

..........................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................

hmmm............nah, i guess just forget it.
I'll calm myself down,and refresh my mind.
k, im done .
thx Phyl xD, u're always the best! muackzz!! love ya !! <3

* Blank O3o

2011-01-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

Im freaking CONFUSED now @_@..........

should i be doing my homework??
or IMVU-ing??
or Facebooking??
or checking on my friends??
or even EMO-ing?
nah! its not me i guess = =''
CONFUSING .......

* pain, pain , pain................. ARGH!!!

N3w Lif3 :3

2010-12-29T08:27:00.000-08:00

hey heY hEY HEY ~~~~~~~~~~~

its almost 'NEXT YEAR' !!
so excited!! XD

just go thru the new time table :

(ok, lets refresh my mind a little)

Monday we'll have VideoGraphy with mr Baron from 8-11am, after that we'll have Multimedia Interface with Cheryl from 2.30-5.30pm.

Tuesday we'll be having 3D Visualization from 11-2.30pm with mr. Yuzainis.

Wednesday ,Entrepreneurship with TBC (which i believe none of us know who is this ) from 2.30-5.30pm.

Thursday we'll learn about Critical & Creative thinking with Jackson n Eric (OMFG!) from 8-11am.

and Friday, Motion Graphics with Rosemady (izit frog?) from 11-2.30pm.

so, thats basically the subjucts we're having for next semester (sem4 for MMD34), and i hope in this sem we get to get along with every lecturer , and we can have a better time management !!

it WILL BE a very GAn JEONG sem for us !! XD
good luck MMD34!! and also the others =w=.......

miss by that much :)
once again, we aint gonna pass friendship XD yay!

Emotional[S] + talking to myself

2010-12-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

guess what??
im in Emo- mood now.

and for NO REASON.or there is one?O.o
just hate to see something which i accidentally saw that spoiled my whole day of mood.

duh---?= =''

what does it gonna do with me??
and why the hell and what the fuck do i need to care about all of this bullshit?

its non of my bloody business, and non of my fucking stuffs,
so why do i even thinking about caring or bothering it?

i feel so stupid like an idiot .
since i hate it so god-damn-it fucking much, why do i even want to 'think' about it ??
i'd better [delete] it from my mind.
its making me crazy.

get your bloody fucking ass out of my eye-sight u moron!

IM SO REGRET WHY DID I EVEN MET U IN THE 1ST PLACE,

BLOODY FUCKING ASS-HOLE!

Missed by that much :)

2010-11-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

I missed Phyl's story in Zestera~~~~~~~~~~

i missed a few chaps dy~~~~~~~~ argh!!!!!!!!

T^T...........wait for me to catch up ,Zestera, im gonna read U soon!!

Drowning ~

2010-11-21T09:41:00.000-08:00

OMG.............

Assignments......................assignments........................
assesment...................assesment..........................

next week is the assesment day dy........................29th n 30th.........
argh! still got 20++ pic arent done yet!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!

and im still playing IMVU at this time?!
ive better cut that god damn habit and str8 with my assignments~~~~~~~T^T

i know i have not much time left, but im still comferting myself : " dont worry, i'll finish it on time no mather what ! xD "

hello~~~>?! im not a Rocket ya know, cut the IMVU habit and start ur god damn assignment GIRL!! no one's gonna save u by the time reaches !!

ARGH!!!

save me DEVIL!! ><''

クロアチアのラプソディー

2010-11-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Dont ask,
I dont know what it means either >>> (the title i posted)= =''

I love the music----“Croatian Rhapsody”
which is " Rhapsody of Croatia"
and i dont know what it means,
after i searched for the google dictionary, it came out this :

[Rhapsody>the expression of great enthusiasm or happiness in speech or writing]
[Croatia> a place's name]

and what about it ?
well, just hear it yourself, i love it, and i hope u guys will love it too :)
energy music !xD

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay, skip the music part.
Im still on my assignments... and the coming 29th and 30th is the assesment day , = ='''''..........
and all the 'undone' assignments are still waiting for me to be 'done' T^T...............

D.Illustration, althought its really fun!! but its still lots more to be done!! argh!! xD

wish us luck MMD34s' !!!

They are the SAME ;)

2010-11-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

Its 1.42am now, dont feel like touching my assignments, excited about tmr's BK presentation, wondering if I'll speak any 'english' tmr xP.....

went to fb to check some updates, as usual, bored.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Just thought of yesterday, I read a chapter of the book that Phyl borrowed me, and seriously, I really think *these guys* are damn cool xD

They are Genius , with complicated minds, an undescribable feelings for them, i dont even know what words to represent them . all i can say is, they are 1 of the most awsome type of person in this world.

living in the silence, being looked down by some other out-minded people, never really been regconize by the public, never really been accepted by their family, never really been supported by the people around them,being left out from friends to friend after knowing their true-self. but why?
they are humans like us, they have feelings like us, they have powerful minds like us , and most of all, the love they have is never less than us. we are the same.

why do we see them as if their like some sort of 'creature' to u??

respect them, love them understand them, feel them, and then u'll get to understand the real story that they've been trough. conclude them before u judge urself as an unlucky peroson in this world, they are people that are much more pity than u do.

and im proud to have u guys as a friend like this, u guys are not different, u guys are the same like us, a human full with feelings n love. dont give up on anything, and untill one day, i believe u'll find ur special place to be in. I love u gUys xD

Just a normal post.

2010-11-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

Today was a normal day, and also the 1st day helping Joyce for her shooting assignment xD

Everyday day when I reached home, the 1st thing I will do wasn't go to my room straight away, I walk to the kitchen to see my pups xD, after that , houseworks. When the time I go to my bedroom, is the time I take my bath and turn on my laptop xD and the time is always 11pm or 12am , talking about 'bathing in this late night', almost everyday I repeat the same thing.It's not good I know, but I'm use to it.

I leave my laptop on when I was bathing.After bathing , I sit infront of the laptop, Mozilla Firefox > Facebook > Twitter > Blogger.
I will open these pages to check out the new updates.
even though the 1st page I open is Facebook, but I'll go update with my Blogger 1st, to see if any1 has updated their blog.And yes, there's lots of it.

Phyl posted a few new post in Zestera, and I never have to 'free' time to read it. I feel so outdated with thier stories :P
I read trough most of my friend's blogs, and I find out that they are so willing to update thier blog like almost everyday, do they really have so much time ?
I wish I have it too.

everytime when I wanted to post a new blog post, after I click the 'new post' button, the page came out, but my mind was blank. I wanted to put something in, but nothing popped out from my mind.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Assignments , well, assignment won't stop , but what the hack, at least I enjoyed some of them xD
Digital Illustration, my most fav of all ! and also the most assignments given!

1st > BW figure sketch (done)
2nd> Clr Figure sketch (done)
3rd> 4 character design + 4 abnormal character design
4th> draw a background picture which included the FG,MG n BG. (1 piece)
5th> suddenlly lecturer said figure sketching total up is 7 piece of it ,so + 5 more figure sketch.
6th> final assignment : create a story which included 1 hero, 1 villian and 1 pet. (one of them must be human form) design any character u like. then, each character have to include thier FV,SV,3/4V,CU (front view,side view, 3/4 view,close up = 4 piece hand drawn each) that means I have 12 pieces . after the characters, design a background for ur story/ that represent ur story.2 character posters, and 1 movie poster. everything done or researches must compile into a booklet, 1 booklet is sketches, the other 1 is a complete 1 with everything printed.

fun aint it? X____X

haha, so, now u guys know, not much time to limteh anymore for this coming few weeks, dying for assignments, but Im still available for a short chat ^^, so forgive me if Im not keeping intouch so well xD

guess I'll stop here, well update with u guys soon I hope. xD

a Blast at RED BOX xD

2010-10-26T08:33:00.000-07:00

fuuyoo!!
beh tahan Joyce n Chee Seng!!
they din go there to sing-K, they go there to shout-K!!

damn!
but we had a great time !
we= kok siong, joyce, chee seng, n me xD
[but we really hope kuan was with us too ] sei kuan kuan, no lollipop for u xP

and while they're singing...no no no...shouting , wild in the K-room, i read an article about Libra.
and i was shocked when i finish reading, it was true, wat they say about Libras, so, i am like that, and im not afriad to admit it, xD

accept me as a friend, or just beat it . i dont care xD

エモ

2010-10-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

Just came back limteh with Buddies....

having a great time, like we usually do every weekend :P
so, our topics are usually school stuffs or some 'auntie talk' stuffs.
it was fun ;) haha....

after everything, my mind popped out a question : why i can't get EMO ?
not said that i can't, but it's not easy for me to be emo nowadays, why?

well, i need an answer too ya know... and then i stared asking Phyl a question :
' hey Phyl, do u think some people will look for someone to 'like' when they are bored or something?'

Phyl: ' well, yeah i guess, but not for me.'
Me : ' oh...okay.'

---my mind was silent for a momment, as if there's a big red 'X' in the answer he gave me ---

haha... what do i want? a 'someone' to talk to? or a 'someone' to think of everyday?
actually it is kindda bored when u are not missing anyone or anything.

well i miss my baby i10 i know, at least there're still something for me to 'miss'.

hmm....well, my point here is :

i feel like looking for a 'someone' to miss. :) i wonder who would that be?

*

Spirited Away ;)

2010-10-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

Just watched Spirited Away, its a film by Hayao Miyazaki xD
[DVD borrowed from Phyl ,thx bud! ;D]

and indeed, he's master piece is BRILLIANT!!! DAMN NICE MAN!

i know i might be outdated to mention this right now.
but just to say , this film is sooo freaking interesting!!
*Chihiro is cute, but Haku is hot ! xD
wahhh!!!!!!!! xD

Silent Night

2010-10-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

hmm, its a silent night, alone doing my assignments in my room.
as usual, im facebooking, tweeting, blogging at the same time.

well, guess i'll just post randomly.
Saturday n Sunday was busying with the event stuffs, really really busy like hell :P, and its finally over!
i miss many appointments from my buds! [sry guys! ><] because of my studies, i cancled ur invitations! but i guess imma little free for now....O.o...

ok, and now about college.
flash, its soo fucking stress in augustine's class dude!!!
he's freakin fast n i dont even understand his teaching!
its complicated...@_@...i wonder if we would fail in 2D animation :P.
choi choi choi....touch wood, XD

i miss u buddies!! Phyl n Jack n Mok n Diz xD
thx Jack for the toy toy dweey thing-ey xD
and sry Phyl for my unattended sushi-king RM2 thing-ey promotion day x(

C [eherm //= =//] is handsome and i mean it :) *

**
gan jeong loh!
something is burning inside me nowadays,
been thinking over n over,
i wonder if its true,
maybe its just a little like, not a crush right?
coz if i really do like u,
i wont dare to look u in the eye when we talk ><

Im D.V.

2010-10-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

yeap, D.V. means Devil Vendelyne.
and that's me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

well, today was a random post.
suddenly i thought of the 2 amazing 'things' i know :
Devils & Angels.

to be honest, I HATE ANGELs.
and why do i hate them?
well, thats because i think they're too fake to be true.
why do i say so?
[no offence ]
i have never pray to the Angels for luck.
they're too sincere.
which means, they wont protect the "one and only U" in this world.
they will protect everyone no matter he/she is a bad or a good person.
so why do u pray to them for miracle ?!

I ONLY PRAY TO THE DEVILs.
in our darkest hour, we pray for the Devil to save us.
and yes, they will protect the 'one n only U' ,
if only u would exchange ur soul to them as a repay.
and yes, Im willing to.
why?
why do i want all this?
because i want my freedom!
I want everything that belongs to me.
i want everything that is only for me.
i want my DEVIL !
and also,

Im Hsin Yang.
thats who i am,
Im D.V.
Devil Vendelyne.
the mysterious red mistress who glows red lights in the dark.
my world is always cruel RED.

R.E.D
Revange. Evil. Devil
[passion, aggression, courage, energy, guilt, love, anger, hatred, pain, socialism, fire, heat, sacrifice, violence, bullfighting, emergency, danger, sin, negativity, blood, devils, lust, communism, stop, exit, honor, leadership, Valentine's Day, yield sign, blushing, Christmas, purity, attraction, beauty, error, failure, wrong way, conservatism (US), happiness (China), good luck (China), HIV/AIDS awareness and drug intolerance]

feel the power of the DEVIL.

1st Accident

2010-10-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

well, its the 2nd day after the accident.
and every1 who know about it, are all asking me 1 thing :
[ are u afraid of driving after the accident?]

my answer to that specific question of urs is :
[ hell no, why should i be giving up driving bcoz of a small experience from the Devil?! xD]

i mean seriously, i wont be afraid of driving just because an accident happened.
I'll take that as a new experience i faced.
and learn from it.
I will NEVER let that happened again.

****************************************************************
okay, where do i start?

1st thing i wanna say is, the accident i faced is a A-B-C accident, like what Phyl said in his blog.
i was driving on the speed lane about 80km/hr,
and i was not aware that the car infront was a Stop or a Go,
( means i dont know if he's moving or stopping right there in the middle of the road.)

so, in my unexpected guess, the car wasnt moving at all!
so i hit the brake hard right down, and i know i wasnt ready the make my car stop without hitting the car infront, and indeed, i Crashed the car's bumpper behind.X(

well, the car i hitted was a Proton Saga, and i didnt notice he hitted another car infront of him, i have no idea there was a 1st car right infront .
A-B-C accident means im car C. XP.......

once i hitted the car B, the airbags in my car brusted out and hitted my chest n left hand,
my eyes were close when i hit the car.
the next thing i saw after the hit was the airbag dust in my car everywhere.

I quickly pressed on the double signal (aka emergency signal) ,
took my phone and come out from my car.
my car door wasnt not functioning well after the hit, i cant open it door wide as usual,
so i force myself out instead.

after i came out from my car, i went to the car infront and asked if is the driver okay, and thank god he was, and he didnt scold ot blame or anything, he said luckly no one is hurt.

so, after that i called my dad.
the accident happened around 6.30pm, and we manage to settle everything include the police station stuffs, and blah blah blah, around 11pm, it was a long night for us. ><>

Kuroshitsuji II

2010-10-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

Im speechless, after finish watching Kuroshitsuji II, my feeling is like "hanging" right there .
An ending is like " no ending" ?!

Sebastian didnt get to 'have' Ciel.
and Ciel turn into a DEMON as well.

and the 2 FUCKING characters that I hate so damn much , Claude n Alois, are dead !
which is a REAL ENDING for them, but not for Sebastian n Ciel !

WTF! WTF! WTF!

I HATE U ALOIS!
I HATE U CLAUDE!
I HATE BOTH OF U!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PAIN =(

2010-10-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

well, how much do u guys know about the word PAIN?

its obvious, it means sadness inside u, and it feels like a sharp knife cut trough ur soft beeping heart .
but honestly ,

ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE.

Im gonna say it on my point of view,

很严重吗? 那种拒绝法, 很难受吗?
对方已经手下留情，不再追问了，就当什么都没发生吧。

那你到底明不明白对方的用意啊？
对你冷漠，是因为怕你受的伤害会更加大。

thats all i wanna say, but make it simple : im not trying to comment anyone els nor talking about someone els, im just saying it as an example , bcoz a friend of mine just been trough this kind of situation.

Im quiet, evry topic we chatted, im still quiet as usual.
its only 1 year, duh?! big deal, is not like the world is ending.
for us girls, we have to be strong, stand up for ourselves.
tell urself, its just a small REJECTION, so what?!

and u call that PAIN?
what do u know about PAIN?

四年了，单恋了他四年了。难道我的痛，会比你的来得轻吗？
曾经当面被拒绝的次数，难道会比你的少吗？
在你们说着，安慰着的时候，我只能沉默。

okay, thats a pass. i dont count it as an example.
why dont we talk about last year?

in one night, in a couple of hours, i can like someone.
so?
its just like HOPE is standing infront of u, but then when u reached it, it just disappear. and give u NIGHTMARE instead.

哼，我根本没资格说别人。自己也不是曾经遇过同一类的事情吗？
好久，都没有试过单恋了。
已经忘了那感觉是如何的，忘了对方的样子，把一切一切被毁灭了。
因为，够了，不要再来了。

坚强吧。因为是为了你自己而活的，不是为了别人而活的。

everything u faced, just smile, u'll get trough it very soon.

18th Birthday; 30.09.2010

2010-09-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

No comments, just, thank you to each and everyone of u who *WISHED* me happy birthday.
that's all i can say.

what i can hope for more?

Maybe a birthday that can make me drop of some tears?

well, no, i know i cant have that , for now.
that's it, why do i hope for more? this is ENOUGH right? yea, its ENOUGH for me for my 18TH BIRTHDAY.
really, thank you guys.all of ur WISHES can barely REPLACE as my BIRTHDAY present.

wow, what a birthday.
= =''.....

- FUCK LAH,18th BIRTHDAY-

I Love U xD

2010-09-18T11:06:00.000-07:00

dont ask, dont care, just listen ;)

dont know what got into me, after i read those BL comics I borrowed from my friends, I just feel like saying [ I LOVE U ] to those who are special to me ;)

-------------My Buddies!!!!!!!! ><

I Love U guys!!
I cant use words to explain , but what the hack, u guys get it right?? haha XD....
it means, I LOVE U!! so so much!! XD

I dont know what will i do if u guys disappear from my life!
emo-ing, sad-ing, die-ing, well, just maybe XP, haha.....

Phybert's law : your friend is my friend, my friend is your friend.
Dizzy's law : love only yourself, fight only for yourself.

okay! I want to set a law too!!

hmm.....
I'll come up with something soon, just give me some time to think, I need to create this BY MYSELF, coz its my law ! haha!!

last but not least, im still gonna say :

I LOVE U !

Id3aS~

2010-09-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

Guess what?

Today I woke up early,well, actually is to do some house works (because yesterday scolded by dad for being lazy on not doing any house works. ><) so, just trying to be a good girl once in a while.

Then, after finishing everything, I had this IDEA poped out from my mind.
A storyline that can help me to continue my undone comics xD....(I dont even know how do I get the IDEA, but Im happy about it xD)

lets see, which comic should i continue? well, depends on what i want to continue actually.
this 1st thing came into my mine is [TYD], my 1st artwork since primary xD( i guess).

the characters i created are perfect, so i wanted to continue and see how my story goes on. :)
and, for 1 afternoon, Im done with only 6 pages. its actually very a few to me. i remembered last time i did over 10 pages per day. Because when the story comes to the excitements, i wouldnt want it to stop right there. xD at least finish the chapter :D

haha, i dont even know what am i talking about right now. all i know is i had this feeling on continuing it.

[TYD] is basically a mystery solving comic (at 1st), but now i guess i'll change it into a normal high school life style kindda comic. it would be easier for me to get IDEAs, and easier to draw.
That's what i think.

there are still a few comic of mine hanging right there, some is out of IDEAs to continue, and some is lazy to continue ><....

but what the hack, IDEAs will come and go, I''' have to make sure I keep them in mind. xD

long last [TYD] !!

Im [废柴]

2010-09-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

[废柴] 这个字眼，对谁来说，都算是在骂着人 “没有用”、“不中用”，等等，的吧？
应该不会有人第一次听到，就觉得这个字眼是在说着那些 “没有用了的木柴” 的意思，对吧？

唉，刚刚思考了一会儿，下了一个结论：原来“假期的时候呆在家里做自己喜欢做的东西”的人，称为[废柴]。

是吗？真的是如此吗？

-------------------------------------------------------------------
事实上，我和两个弟弟刚才被我老豆骂了一顿。= =''

他说假期那么久，我们就“废”足那么久。
每天都是睡、吃、喝、玩、乐。
我两个弟弟被骂：“ 明知道自己就来考大考了，还不温习，天天都在玩；花园又不帮手打扫.....之类的。”
而我呢......
“天天只会出去花钱，白天去看戏，晚上去喝茶，又不会赚钱消费又那么大。自己是女孩子，家务又不帮忙做，明知道弟弟有大考还不教他温习功课，还要带他出去浪费钱....

....你做姐姐的，真的是失败！”

唉....................

造成这些问题的元素，是不是因为我们被宠得太过火了？

.............简直是吧。

-------------------------------------------------------------------

回想一下，其实整个假期里，我都是在看漫画找题材，上网找灵感，看戏找情节.......

this is what designers do right?
that's why they are always working solo if they are living in their own world.
alone, who will understand?

its like a blank paper with a black spot on it. if u're the the black spot on that blank paper, who will be there to match u?
to be honest, i dont like to tell my family what am i doing.
there are few reasons that i say so.
1st reason, they dont even understand what im doing even though if i told them.
2nd reason, I hate to explain so many times if they dont get what i meant.
3rd reason, they might ask, why are u doing this? why do u create such thing?

WHATS THE PROBLEM IF I CREATE MY OWN IMAGINATION IN MY OWN WORLD?!
THIS IS MY WORLD, MY MIND, SO LET ME DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!
WHATS THE POINT ON LIVING IN WORLD WITH LIMITS ON EVERYTHING?!

我想继续我的漫画，我想锻炼我的画工，我不要别人来管，我不要别人来理，我只想完成之前的作品！
假期了，是用来休息，用来玩，用来做自己喜欢做的东西吧？！
我很疼爱我两个弟弟，所以有什么事情我都希望能和他们分享。

------------------------------------
but still......

原谅我没有为弟弟们想过；原谅我只顾着自己；原谅我没能与你们一起分担工作...........

Di,Mi,请原谅我的任性吧..........

xxx

Blur-ish* ;)

2010-09-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

Okay,as u can see my topic, Im blur-ish, that means i've no idea what im gonna write in this pose, depends on my randomness. :D

lets see, I read some of my friend's blog, they are doing well, then i click into 1 of my old best friend's blog ( a friend when i was in primary school), she was writing everything about herself and 'her husband', that's what she calls her boyfriend, which i think its kinda annoying = =''...she changed alot, the only thing she remains is her body-shape. that's what i can differenciate so far.

well, other then 'busy-body'-ing people's blog, Im still facebooking as usual.
check on some photos, leaving some comments and stuffs = =''.....

oh right!now i think of something.

I ran through with my old artworks this afternoon, such as my old drawings, the old comics i drew last time, honestly, Im telling myself : what the hack?! did I drew all this?! Is it really me who created all this piece of artworks by myself?! I cant believe it!!

i mean seriously, i think i spent most of my time doing all these *stuffs* more than studying when i was still in school! but I've got to admit it, Im actually quite impressed , impressed on how can i get these stupid but interesting ideas to draw all these * stuffs*, agreed?xD

i missed the old days in school, where my friends like to give my ideas on what to draw, what story can i create, attending some anime function and more!! more than i can imagine right now! xD

well, i guess that's it for today's pose, nothing much to share.
as usual, hate to entertained, hate to bother, hate to listen, hate to look at. xD

Bye bye Sem2. Hello Sem Break!

2010-09-01T02:10:00.000-07:00

muahahaha......!!

Just ended Semester2 and started my Semester break, Im gonna be in semester3 soon !!

hmm....well, lately, obviously Im freaking lazy to update my blog, but what the hack, I have time now, so I decided to spend some time on Blogger XD.

let see....what am I up to these days....
well, still the same , IMVU, facebook, blah blah blah....

well guess what? I think im gonna spend my time to upgrate my drawing skills, after all, I havent been drawing with my own style these few months.
Yes, Im very busy indeed. I missed a few 'limteh' appointments with 002 too XD.
and also, Phylbert started his story again!

Zestera

Well, this time he skipped after 2 years, and I like the story !!
so for those of u who read my blogs, just take a visit to Zestera, its gonna be a magical place to be ^^

That's all ME ^^

2010-08-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

Guess what?

after the day limteh with Buddy aka 002 aka Phylbert XD, he said he start building many kinds of "him", like :

a "him" in school,
a "him" in outdoors,
a "him" in proffesional places,

and more, i cant really write it all done XD.

so, he told me I should start it too.
well, guess what?
I've realize that I have been so many different people since I got into 2ndary school XD

At home, Im a good girl : Hsinny ~
In school,Im an ordinary school girl :Low Hsin Yang
In college, Im a very HimDa girl : Hsin Yang ( no Low)
In IMVU, Im a friendly girl: Scarlet
On the internet, Im a DEVIL : VENDELYNE

u'll never know what i've did in these wide NET, * evil laughs*
well, maybe not like 002 said THAT kind of diff "-self",
I like being myself :)

most of all:

I like being a DEVIL >:D

Warm Dream :)

2010-06-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

Guess what?
I had a warm and beautiful dream!
so I pictured it out by drawing what was in my dream.

*****************************************************************************

看你那忧伤的表情...
必定发生了一些事情吧...?

但你不告诉我到底是什么事情...

我能做的,
只有给你安慰...
让你释放你的痛苦...

你在我面前不必逞强...
因为我一眼就看得出你的忧伤...

虽然我不知道你是为了什么事而大哭...
但如果你想哭的话，
我会第一时间把我的怀抱让给你...

所以,
你就尽情的大哭吧...
哭了过后,明天的天空还是蓝色的...

无论发生什么事情，我都会保护你...

所以...在我面前,
做会你自己就好了.....

*****************************************************************************

Its was sweet, caring, and charming.......
After this dream, I just want to say:
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE TRULY A REAL FRIEND.
:D

who ever that would be XD

Dedicated this to a special friend

2010-06-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

well...this is also from GLEE, this time this song is sang by Will n April, to best friends.

I'll like to dedicated this, to MY BEST BUDDY. XD
hope u'll like it pal XD~

Alone - Heart
I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though

Alone
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight, oh
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown

Alone
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

Alone, alone

Heart Alone

Dedicated this to a special some1

2010-06-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

Its from Glee, sang by Mercedes.
she sang this to Kurt(a guy she barely liked alot, but she didnt know he was a GXX x.x)

well, I kinda like this song , I had the same feeling as the lyrics before, but it was a long time ago. XD
this was my feelings BEFORE, but not for now.
Bust Your Windows

I bust the windows out your car
And though it didn’t mend my broken heart
Ill probably always have these ugly scars
but right now I don’t care about that part.
I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn’t wanna but I took my turn
I’m glad I did it cuz you had to learn

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn’t know that I had that much strength
But I’m glad you see what happens when
You see you cant just play with peoples feelings
Tell them you love them and don’t mean it
you’ll probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

I bust the windows out ya car
You know I did it cuz I left my mark
Wrote my initials with the crowbar
And then I drove off into the dark

I bust the windows out ya car ha,
you should feel lucky that was all I did
After 5 whole years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me and you played with it

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it

I didn’t know that I had that much strength
But I’m glad you see what happens when
You see you cant just play with peoples feelings
Tell them you love them but don’t mean it
You probably say that it was juvenile
But I think that I deserve to smile
Bust them windows out yo car
But it don’t come back to my broken heart
You could neva feel I how I felt that day
Until it happens baby you don’t know pain
Ooh Yeah I did it (yeah I did it)
You should know it (you should kno it)
I ain’t sorry (I ain’t sorry)
You deserved it (you deserved it)
After what you did to me (after what you did)
You deserve it (you deserve it)
I ain’t sorry no no ohhh(I aint sorry)
You broke my heart so I broke you car
You caused me pain (you caused me pain)
(So I did the same)
Even though what you did to me was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt
Oh but why am I still crying
Why am I the one who’s still crying
Oh oh really hurt me baby
really,really hurt me baby

Hey hey hey hey hey
Now watch me you
Now watch me
Oooh I bust the windows out your car.

Hate u ,yet Like u.

2010-06-21T04:42:00.000-07:00

must our friendship be that way?
so near yet so far,so true yet so false.
i can't make myself to 'like' u.
looking at u is like looking at a dark angel,
i hate that innocence feeling in u,
maybe it's true in other's eye but in mine...it's a fake innocence.
i can't find a reason to tell u i hate u,
and i can't find a reason to tell u i like u.
it's just,all of this is my problem, i'm the 1 who's with strange view to u.
i try to like u, i really do, but something came into me when i started to like u,
coz the 'hate' feeling came back when the 'like' feeling is near,
why?
why do i see u differently compare to others?
why?....

there's half of me is trying to like u,
and the other half of me is refusing me to like u,
i care sometimes, but i don't speak out.
i wanted to apologize everytime when the 'hate u' me came out in a sudden,
but i just don't dare to say it. why?
i'm a coward who doesn't face the fact.
i hate u, yet i still like u.

i can't change it, coz this is the way i am.
pls forgive me, my dear friend.

Ferarri

2010-06-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

hmm.....

The name "Ferarri", I earn it from Mr Steven (my lecturer).
to be honest, after the name "Ferarri" was named, I begin to have some confident in myself. At least I get to know I' not the *slowest* in class, and it's also good to draw fast. XD

I'm still challenging myself to do even faster, as Mr Steven said so, "no more Ferarri luu, must upgrate to Rocket dy :D", true, very true, I really have to start training myself to draw more in a short time. It helps in the future too. ^^

well, today as usual, go on Facebook and check out some new updates, and then i saw 1 of my friend's friend Facebook, with some of his artworks in side too. I started to get interested in him though, good-looking guy with great drawing skills,cause I love to get to know some artists like my kind XD He aint bad , just a little to cool . :D
and about the 60 pieces, I still have more than half to go ,Q_Q.....there's not much time to think, guess I'll draw what I saw XD

wish me luck XD

**why are u so sad in the inside?

Blog Updated :)

2010-06-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

Finally~~

It has been like more than a month I update my Blog XD

cause I was busy with my college studies, (assignments, no kidding :P)
and get some time in IMVU (a 3D chat),
and...um uh....lazy of course XD

hmm...let me see....nothing much to say too.
I'm happy with my college life, with a bunch of crazy friends, we're like monkeys jumping here and there XD
competitions, assignments, we spent most of the time together, now I start to realize the time i spent with my family became less, Q_Q.....

hmm.....nothing much to say though, guess thats all, update soon :D

** are u okay dude?? u suprized me with those words u're using O.o!!

new Family member!!

2010-04-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

i got my i10 dy!! yeah!!

I'm the COMPLICATED one.

2010-03-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

well,
1st of all,i had no idea wat should i post with a topic like tat,
bcoz these days i only updated my 20thPalace, i never touched this Dairy since then...so, i'll update it now XD

uh hmm...let see, wat happened these days....

well, 002 went to NS, this is a news every1 noes, n uh....J went to UK too...n uh...i got scold by my family with my Crazy Driving Skills, haha...nothing really happend muchXD

college life,
well, assignment are getting ok, i can still manage my time to do so, and uh....

oh ya!!

i got my car---i10!!! *happy~*...

i wish to giv my buddies a ride, but 002 wasnt around for 3 months, so see how loh, i might wait for him, or giv the 1st ride to wb 1st?XDhaha...
hm...i watched a new brought dvd a few days ago, its BL anime acl..haha....dont ask y i brought it, i dont noe wat answer to giv u later XD haha...
well...the story wasnt bad, its very touching acl...our world has full of suprizes, haha~~

well...i guess tats it la, i hav to go blog in my 20thPalace XD

bye ~

Bye Buddy XD

2010-03-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

bye~~
it WILL be a really NORMAL 3 month for us all n to u too,
i hope the next time u came back, we still hav the chance to LOL even higher XD

wish u
eat well,
sleep well,
communicate well,
do well,
and of coz

**
**
take care buddy W*翰 XD

we'll miss ya XD muackz!

Ding Dong~

2010-03-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

time passes so fast, it's almost the time for 002 to go NS~

well....this post doesnt explain much , just post to update my blog...
erm....these few days went out with 2 buddies,chit-chat 38-ing~talking silly stuffs~XD

and erm....18/3 was mr. STV's bday, went out to hav a small celebration with him, and uh....came back around 11pm...=.=.....

and erm.....nothing to say much acl....this saturday n sunday (20/21 march) our college (Saito) will be having openday, and students artworks will be displayed out, dunno whr, but i hope my pieces are out tooXDXD

i did ask some frens to go with me, but most of them wouldnt wan to go either, so,forget it lah~ haha....

just now wb told a touching G story....sad ending isnt my type, but still, its very touching XD thx ya~ and uh.......

hope tat we still hav chance to YC la~
i'll be sure i'll miss the msg frm u, said : yamcha later mau??

haha....truely, good lucks to both of my best buddies X3 ,

XXX
(muackz♥ ~muackz♥ ~muackz♥~)

虚魂

2010-03-12T21:21:00.000-08:00

这几天都好像鬼上身酱，身体力好像有另一个灵魂在活动着。

“神经病！”

哈哈，或许是吧~傻的~
不过....

老是觉得很不自在，弟弟不是读书就打电脑；爸妈工作到三更半夜才回家。
我？
这几天都跟死党们出去'wet'，喝茶吃东西聊天~
跟你们一起的时候，才是我自己吗？还是在你们面前的我并不是我？
哎哟，我在说什么垃圾话啊....=.='''...................

我铅笔盒又留在college，我已经几天都没动笔了，很多“东西”都堆满了，我要尽快取回我的铅笔盒把这些“东西”丢出来。

静。
是的，我很静。
没话讲吗！
就不能找点东西说吗？
要我说什么？
你喜欢咯~
[沉默].....................

不是没有话说，只是不知该怎么开口。
所以，我宁愿成为你们的聆听者~^^~

Nothing In Mind

2010-03-12T08:24:00.000-08:00

Hrm....let me think....i dont hav any idea to blog right now, but i wanted to post something up....

sometimes some"things" couldnt be told here and sometimes some"things" i couldnt say here too.
so,whats the perpose for blogging anyway?=.=

damn, talking bullshit things again **

just as my topic had said, i have nothing in mind now, but i wanted to write something.

nite!
hope i'm not ttm-ing again....
bcoz......

I FEEL ALONE .

SPM + nite Yam Cha

2010-03-11T09:34:00.000-08:00

33333~~

hahaha....今天是拿成绩的日子~拿了成绩有的喜怒哀乐~
而我咧...也还好啦，只要能够申请那到loan就好了，我并不期望会拿那么impossible的成绩=.=....

after tat leh, WB,WH , n ME, went for lunch outside.
WH's hav his lunch with Dragon-Zai,n for WB n ME, we had it in other places.
after lunch, we all went back to my hse to chitchat + play com + this and that.
den hor...until 5pm ah...i only rmb i had to fetch my bro back from tuition, i was 1hr+ late!!!shit!!

so i rushed out, with WH n WB, str8 go fetch my bro~after tat send WH n WB back.
until nite.....

"wan to go Yam Cha??OwO"
"ok ah, wat time?"
"i cum to ur hse at 9.10pm to pick u up."
"okok."

so we went to 21century cafe for a supper + dinner gathering.(i guess)...
so we chat n eat n drink until 12am =.=...
WH sent me back, but reach till my frnt hse, we chat in the car,=.=.......many many things we can chat~

.den.......after 1am++++, my parents back, i showed them my results , they said it wasnt bad, as long as i've tried my best~^^

xxx
love ya~

Tian's birthday XD

2010-03-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

hey hey hey~
its my beloved Tian punya birthday ya~~~(3/10)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA TIAN~~~~~~~~~>W <

so,today our (BJ,STV,ME) plan was :
after class (which ends around 2pm,but it shound be 3pm la),we naik LRT str8 go KLCC makan+ watch movie ~

aiyoyo...who noes when me n BJ go buy ticket tat time ah, only notice with dont hav enuf $$,aiyoyo...so we brought 2 tickets 1st lo,
after tat i go take money buy another 2more, XD

erm.. so around 4.30pm, STV n Tian arrived,so we went to meet each other,
hooiyoo, wear skirt oo ~XDhaha...

after tat we go pizza hut makan, order this tat, den take banyak banyak picture,crazy crazy pic XD~
after tat, i say i go tandas, but acl i was rushing to go find a cake for Tian,coz for me ah, bday must eat bday cake ! like tat only shuang mah! XD

who noes i cant find a cake hse, so end up inly brought 1 piece of SR cake for her (paiseh ah~)
i ask the waiter to help me bring out the cake after wards,so i gave them the piece of cake, and when back into PH acting like nothing had happen. when dey asked me y so long,i say i'm lost.=.=...acl its kinda lausy for an excuse like tat =.=...''...

after tat, i giv the waiter a sign to ask , bring out the cake,
haha~~
juz as i tot, Tian was suprize XD~~~

glad my plan worked =.=''.....

haha
den go watch movie....3D de wor~~ nice~~
after movie over,around 8pm loh, we all take LRT balik.XD

** last wish for u oo~~ hapi bday oo Tian~ muacks~^^

suprized news!

2010-03-01T08:35:00.000-08:00

OMG OMG OMG.....

i cant believe it!
its really wat i had in mind!!
its true!
i couldnt believe it until everything has been told!!

gosh!!
so fast started dy!!
at 1st still nothing de, but later on something went wrong!
and we were guessing wat's really going on, who knows today everything has been told!!!

i'm sooo happy for it!!!
XD

sweet18 years old!, sweet memory!! XD

still love ya AxS~

I wasnt there .

2010-03-01T07:08:00.000-08:00

i was slightly busy with my assignments lately,even though i'm on net, but my body is still doing the assignments,draw draw draw...design design design...until i finally get to throw some time out to surf the net......

i had a chat with some1 els and get to know something tat SHOCKed me out.=.=...
which is the story of the Demon and the Angel.

after i knew,i was so worried,thinking is he ok? or is he not?
some1 told me he'll be fine,chill,he can take it, no worries...
so, i believe him. i really believed he can handle the situation,who knows, after i read the whole story from his blog, then i knew, I WAS WRONG.

yeap, until today, i knew. i surf the net while i'm in class, then i had a peake in those blogs.

once i knew everything, i really felt so helpless by then. i apologized.

i apologize for such thing to happen,
i apologize for being such a fren,
i apologize for being so helpless,
i apologize tat i wasnt thr when u need a fren to talk to,

but ,
i'm still glad tat u wasnt alone during these time,thx to 004 as u said.

i'm sorry that i wasnt thr for you when u need me(or not XD),
due to my new college life, i was busy .
and,
i also wan u guys to know,although i'm busy,
but,i'll be thr if u need me,just gimme a call or send me a text, i promise i'll reply no matter wat.

so, smile my fren.XD
i trust u can be WELL again, XD.

**sry for all the broken english >n<

ya meh??

2010-02-22T08:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Hsin Yang, below are your PSYCHOLOGY PERSONALITY test result:
You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...: See more
You’re usually expressive... Open about your emotions and most of the time willing to talk about it.: See more
You love deeply... you may flirt along and people think you’re a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.
You have so many ideas in mind... You’re creative and aggressive! If you want something, you’ll do anything to get it!: See more
You’re undoubtedly good-natured! Most of the time, people are confident to approach you because they know you will consider them.: See more
You love actions... with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect persons/things that are important to you.: See more

说不出口的[离别]

2010-02-22T07:58:00.000-08:00

至：
我亲爱的巾恬~

今天是你结束的trail class last day,but 我始终都来不及与你来个“拥抱的告别”，实在是不甘愿呀~
今天下午打电话给你的时候，得知你已经上了火车离开了，感觉上好像崩溃了一下，haizz....

i know i'm not that good with people due to my quite-ness and cool-ness....i'm not really good in talking, but, 我觉得对朋友的好，是没有必要显示出来的吧？静静的在一旁听你说诉，总是比在一旁给不三不四的意见来得更好吧？哈哈....i dont know for you, but for me, i'm that way,this is me.

不知道怎么告诉你，真的很荣幸能够遇上你。
你给人的感觉就是呆呆的，而你给我的感觉，就是“想要保护你这位呆呆的朋友”的感觉.
下午收到你的messsge之后，楼下突然传来bing bang 的声音，心想：是不是你呢？
结果是真的，连走步路都会跌倒，真是不得不保护你，haiz....

精神点吧！朋友！XD

等我有车了，我在你去喝茶 ~

幸扬启

2010新年

2010-02-20T09:49:00.000-08:00

初一：
relatives from everywhere els came back to visit us,busy whole day.

初二：
lion dance came to my house.busy taking photos.

初三，初四，初五：
went to pulau penang for trip in an un-noticable condition.

初六：
went to 002's house.

初七：
visited pn.LPP and pn.GSH.after that go shopping.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

well.....until today....i havent even touch my assignments yet,i'm so gonna DIE.................................aiyoyo.........................why am i suppose to do it????u know i cant finish it by myself!!!!i'm so gonna get FREAKed OUT and CRAZY!!!!.....so many things to finish and so little time.......................................BULLSHIT LAH!!

Assignment time!

2010-02-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

assignment...assignment....assignment....assignment......assignment!!!!

OMG!
these days assignment are all around me!
really gotta admit it,once one went into college he/she will be more hardworking,maybe its true,
bcoz WE CANT 'DONT DO' IT!

1st is the basic drawing class,draw own comic!which is my full interest in it~~~~XDD
2nd is the CGD class, Cartoon Character design,which is kept me very interesting in it~~~XD
and the third,
is my pengajian malaysia,partner with BJ,a folio about kaum melayu...OMG.....

i hope we can finish everything before chinese new year lah....=.=.....

--Silent Night--

2010-02-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

I'm alone again...in the midnight.
looking at the pc...facebook-ing and blogging like i use to do.

when a person is alone,he/she will think much more "interesting" stuffs.
agree??

just like me.
its a silent night for me...thr's class tmr around 12pm.
i still kept my energy up and not going to bed.
why?
bcoz i'm thinking of something els...
its a big big big question mark inside my head.

i still cant get a clue of it--------my assignments.

great,these days assignments are getting more and more,and my head is trying to get more wider and bigger to "install" everything in mind.
i'm still coll with all the assignments...no trouble these days...i manage to finish it until the day comes.

xxxshiiishh...............stop my nonsence,this isnt my topic of the night.xxx

wat i was saying....its quite in the room all alone...with no special reasons why i'm surffing the net in late nights.blogging with meaningless topics.

oh wat the heck,i better go to bed right now,

xxnight.sweet dreams.xx

a Problem causes a Trouble

2010-01-31T09:22:00.000-08:00

blink **blink** blink**

started this stupid new life,with a new stupid trouble crowling around me!
shit**!!

get out of my life !!
i 'm not ur role model to be with!!
pity doesnt work with me!!save it!
once i say i hate someone,i wouldnt change my mind on it!
i hate u means i hate u!

stop fooling around with me!
stop following me!
stop being such a baby !
i'm not ur baby-sitter!
i'm just a stranger from ur life!
go to ur own way!
find ur own dreams!
not being with me in the same path same dream!

**whats the use if i scold here ?!u cant even see it!

BULLSHIT** LA!!

心愤；心酸

2010-01-30T09:09:00.000-08:00

心，时时都在变。

但属于我的“心”，面对着不同的人，就有不同的“心”相通。

面对另自己非常愤怒的人，就会很心愤。
就像他那样，面对他，我一定不会觉得好过。
由他在一起的时候，特别气愤。
为什么会这样呢？、为什么你非要缠着我不可？居然你一决定了就不要改变主意，为什么还要缠着我？我前世到底欠了你什么？

心愤，心愤，心愤啊！

另一方面，

面对他，我感到心酸，同时也感到安慰。因为认识了你，我很高兴。
心酸是替你觉得可惜，替你感到悲哀。
但是这就是你，这就是我所认识的你。
这是不会改变的事实。
无论我多么的在意，你都不会知道。我的心底话，我始终都没办法感受得到。天意难为。
没关系，这些都是小事情，比起心愤，心酸好多了。

宁愿心酸，都不希望会心愤。

一个是我这一生中最憎恨的人，一个是我这一生最珍惜的人。

你们永远都会留在我的记忆中，
憎恨的人，谢谢你让我变得更加聪明，多亏你，我才会有防备之心。
珍惜的人，谢谢你让我变得更加坚强，多亏你，我才会选择相信他人。

我就是我，你就是你，这是改变不了的事实。
**

"u can do it!"

2010-01-26T08:51:00.000-08:00

now in college life dy......i cant say i cant do it...i must trust myself,i can do it.

using the phrase"u can do it!" to cool down my mind....
i shouldnt say i cant,i must say i can!
its my dream,its my future,no matter what it takes,i must still go on.....

no excuses can be accepted,no reasons can be taken...
i should know thr are many failers on the way to success....

and i hav to get ready my paws,and tell myself,i can.

U CAN DO IT!
YES!
I KNOW I CAN!

gambateh!!!!gambateh!!!!

**

不能放弃

2010-01-26T08:17:00.000-08:00

一个星期已过去了。
也慢慢习惯了college的小生活。当然，也很劳累...
功课...都还好吧...蛮有挑战性的，目前我都应付得来...but......

唯有pengajian malaysia,我跟不上。

因为这一个小小的科目，移动了我想为梦想努力前进的念头...
我的国语不好，教师太快，我跟不上！
我已经上了college!我想靠自己达成梦想！我不想靠朋友！可是我没有那个能力！

难怪这几天心里都很不舒服...我正是为了这件事担心！
跟好友聊天，看着我们的conversation box，我把这件事告知了，打着打着，却哭了出来...
我不知道该怎么办...........
我自己没有能力跟上.........
难道我真的怕了吗?...........

一边听着陈势安的《天后》...一边打着键盘，一边抹眼泪，一边打blog......
这一刻的心情，好无助....好想要有个朋友在身边...好想大大声哭出来....多希望你在啊！

*stop一下，平复心情...*

发泄了一阵子，舒服多了....被妈妈看见了，好难为情，又让她担心了....XP.......sorry MI !XD
......
......
......
......

果然...被妈妈说是笨蛋了.....就因为这一点点的小事情....哭了满脸泪.....哈哈...果然，最笨的，还是自己..........

Hyundai i10

2010-01-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

guess what guys?!

my parents want to get me a car!!

so gan dong oo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bcoz its just for me convinien driving to college,

so they juz suggested to get a small car,

the new model from hyundai------i10!!

so damn cute !!

looks like a bug!!

but the pic isnt tat alike lah...

its smaller than myvi but taller than myvi!!

i was thinking of taking gold colour for it!

i mean if my parents really brought one for me lah...i will choose gold!

its nice!

Finished!

2010-01-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

finally!

i've done all my works!!!!!!!

but i still cant finish some of it,so i took back those pic i drew before to replace it >w< ~~~

shhh...dont tell them oo~~~

wakakaka....

陈势安<天后>

2010-01-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

天后

词：彭学斌

曲：彭学斌

终于找到借口趁着醉意上心头

表达我所有感受

寂寞渐浓沉默留在舞池角落

你说的太少或太多

都会让人更惶恐

谁任由谁放纵谁会先让出自由

最后一定总是我

双脚悬空在你冷酷热情间游走

被侵占所有还要笑着接受

我嫉妒你的爱气势如虹

像个人气高居不下的天后

你要的不是我而是一种虚荣

有人疼才显得多么出众

我陷入盲目狂恋的宽容

成全了你万众宠爱的天后

若爱只剩诱惑只剩彼此忍受

别再互相折磨

因为我们都有错

推开苍白的手推开苍白的厮守

管你有多么失措

别再叫我心软是最致命的脆弱

我明明都懂却仍拼死效忠

我嫉妒你的爱气势如虹

像个人气高居不下的天后

你要的不是我而是一种虚荣

有人疼才显得多么出众

我陷入盲目狂恋的宽容

成全了你万众宠爱的天后

若爱只剩诱惑只剩彼此忍受

别再互相折磨

因为我们都有错

如果有一天爱不再迷惑

足够去看清所有是非对错

直到那个时候你在我的心中

将不再被歌颂把你当作天后

不会再是我

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

go listen ba,not bad de ^^

http://www.mtv516.com/music/155683.html

Finally i have some time!

2010-01-23T09:21:00.000-08:00

its midnight,

its quite,

its silent,

i'm alone,

listening to a new chinese song by 陈势安, 天后.

its a great song.

now,into my topic.

it has been a week i disappeared on net,bcoz.......

i started my college life!happy for me??or not??

acl is not quite "started"...its juz a free 1 month trail class.

but it also ment to be my real class ...bcoz i want to continue the trail class.(in febuary)

well, i'll juz share my thoughts in this week's college life to you guys~

1st day,basic drawings by Lecture Mr.Steven.

say what?!

just the 1st class?we gotta draw so challenging drawings?!

NICE~~me likey~~

say what?!

just the 1st class?i already got a name Ferari in class?!

NICE~~me likey~~

(bcoz my speed in drawing is kindda fast compare to others,so Mr. Steven juz gave me a Ferari name= =,atleast i'm not that invisible in class >w< )

ok,until the end of the class....a piece of "homework" passed to us...

SAY WHAT NOW?!

finish these drawings before next week?!

total 18 pieces!and each different kinds of pics!!OMG!

COOL!!haha~~

2nd day,HA design.(history of arts)
wasnt really studying...bcoz the accual lecture attended to the hospital due to high blood pressure...so,its was another lecture who took over our class.

suprisingly,we MMD class are joined with GD and ID classes....COOL!!

and,we played a game named "wind blow wind"...funny.....haha....

3rd day,Com. class,using MacLab**

well,we get to get a close touch with the awsome MacPC which is specially designed for designers~we learned hw to trace pics....and bla bla bla...for assignments,prepare a pic of tatoo,for next weeks work.

4th day,pengajian malaysia.

erm...Ms Latha....these few days the most scary lecture ever!(for me only ==)

bcoz the sub is in malay,my BM is so shit*,so i cant catch up with her!

she say every point out so fast,and repeated it for few times,i cant even notedown all the points!!

i'm gonna be so poor in this sub!!!T^T

friday off,free~

man..travelling from kajang to pj for these few days....so damn tiring.......from kajang to kl central...and then from kl central to taman jaya...after tat hav to walk a 15 mins road till reach Saito college......back and ford the same thing!!!everyday reached home also tired till like my bones are braking!!!!!=.=........

and nw,finally....i willing to be awake for these 2 hrs to update my blog....to inform u guys...i'm fine!and also to tell you guys....I MISS YOU......muackzz~

**ps:002 ah,my mom ask when u free wor...she want to talk to you abt my bro's de totur stuffs......she really hope you can guide my bro......no excuses...just let me know when you are free for this short meeting...k?^^

my class timetable:

monday:12pm-3pm

tuesday:8am-11am

wednesday:8am-3pm

thursday:12pm-3pm

friday: no class

last,i just wanna say...

i missed you guys so much....missed those funny stuffs we use to talk about....missed the night we use to hang out on net.....and...i'll be kindda busy lately....so....sms me or giv me a call if you want to^^

love ya guys!muackzz!!**

The Right Path

2010-01-16T01:18:00.000-08:00

went to Saito for the Video Editing Class today,ended at 1.45pm.
called mum,but she's busy,so i waited about 45 minutes before she came and pick me up.

as the Lecture ,Mr.Baron,said today,i kindda agree with him.Mr Baron is a part time lecture who is teaching Video Editing*

he said:

"choose what you love,love what you do,do good to success."
agreed?
yes!of course!

"people who are doing what they love,mostly will succeed easily."
agreed?
well,his got a point.

"and people who are doing what they are told to do,the chances for them to succeed will be less."
agreed?
kindda.

"guess what's the key to success??"
what?
"that is:DOING WHAT YOU LOVE."
oo...it has a point.

"dont take orders,follow your passion.its your pathway,not others,think twice before you make any decisions."
agreed?
his got a point,agreed.

"BUT,if you have chosed your pathway,LOVE IT,dont be regret."
agreed?
yes!

Mr.Baron said he has been working as a film editor for the pass 10 years,he met different peoples with different ideas of living.
in the old days,maybe designers cant be a good job to be.
but now,in the 21st century,
designers make money as much as profesional peoples,
sooner or later,designers are also known as Profesional person in the industry.
design is a wide field,everything comes from design.

design,is full of creativities,you learn when you're working and doing,you'll have tons of fun when you explore all around.

yeap,i agree with it.
so,this is my pathway,i wont regret,i'll enjoy while learning,i'll learn from my mistake,and make the world a colourful place!

**That's ME,My Future,My choice,so I'll do it MY WAY.

busying...zzz

2010-01-14T19:45:00.000-08:00

yeap,as my topic says, i'm BUSY!!

about what?!
planning to futher my education,learning my driving skills,searching for infos about loans and overseas studies ....

bla bla bla....

I'm so nervous!
i dont know why i'm nervous but I AM!!
i'm nervous bcoz i know i'm going to start my new college life soon,and i didnt even get a FULL n CLEAR information about it.
accually,i went to Saito to know more CLEAR about the costs and loans and other transporting infos,they did explain very clear....but,the more i'm clear about it the more i get confused!!
why?!
i'm so nervous..................i'm worried about if thr is still some points i forgot to ask.........i'm worried about the costs tat my parents hav to support for me..............

I'm trying to help my parents to save some money!I really AM!! i know how much they work to earn such money,i know how hard they work to help us futher our studies,that's why i want to help them as much as i could!i want to help them save!i dont want to waste!
tat's why i think HARD which college to go and end up i choose Saito.

my dad know i'm worried about the costs involved,but,he still smiles at me with a charming look and say:

"girl,dont worry about the costs,go ahead to study,daddy and mummy will take care of everything for you."

OMG..............i dont know wat to say to them but smile.once i heard it my heart was full with tears!!i dont know how many THX and Appriciation i could give to them to tell them how much i LOVE them!!

so,i give a promise to myself,study the best i could!!and gain all the knowlagde i've learn to earn back everything they've gave me before,i wont waste a single cent!!

i want to register so early its bcoz i want to save RM4000++ for my parents !!if register in Jan thr will be a laptop promotion ,means either i choose a FREE laptop or APPLE MACBOOK (add on RM1500).ofcoz i want Macbook,this is specialy made for designers,it cost Rm4000++ to RM6000++ to buy one of this! so,how could i not save the Rm4000++ for them?!
but if i register in Jan,i will get my macbook only in Sem3,means i hav to wait about A YEAR to get it.
BUT,
if i want to get it straight away,i hav to pay full amount Sem1 to Sem3 costs (Rm12000) to get it.i'm thinking,no matter when also i have to pay for 3 of the Sems,why dont i just pay it all and get the macbook? rite?!

so....maybe...i'll do tat.
2morow thr's a video editing class in Saito,Open Day,so,I'm going.
i dont know for BJ,acl i was thinking of calling WH ,but i had a huge feeling he CANT go =.=....so,forget it loh~

wish me luck! gain some confident!i know i can! >w<
!!

打了耳洞!

2010-01-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

咿呀————！
终于打了耳洞!!!!
~~~~痛~~~~T^T~~~~

以前妈妈说要带我去打，可是爸爸说还小，搞到现在毕业才带我去打，有点笑死人了~>w< ~~

选了红色的耳环

Idols...impressive ones!!

2010-01-11T01:59:00.000-08:00

Kris Allen
Allen in New York City, May 2009
Background information
Birth name	Kristopher Neil Allen
Born	June 21, 1985 (1985-06-21) (age 24) Jacksonville, Arkansas, United States
Origin	Conway, Arkansas, United States
Genres	Alternative rock, pop rock
Occupations	Singer-songwriter, musician
Instruments	Vocals, guitar, piano, keyboard, viola, electric guitar
Years active	2007–present
Labels	Jive/19
Website	www.KrisAllenOfficial.com/

Kristopher Neil "Kris" Allen (born June 21, 1985) is an American singer-songwriter from Conway, Arkansas, and the winner of the eighth season of American Idol.^[1] Prior to Idol, he self-released a 2007 album entitled Brand New Shoes.^[2]^[3]

Allen's Idol coronation song, "No Boundaries" and his version of "Heartless" both charted within the Top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100. Allen's post-Idol self-titled album was released on November 17, 2009, through Jive Records. The album debuted at #11 on the U.S. Billboard 200 shifting over 90,000 copies. The album's lead single, "Live Like We're Dying", was released on September 21, 2009, and has peaked at #30 in the U.S.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Adam Lambert
Lambert sings The Star Spangled Banner at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, May 8, 2009
Background information
Birth name	Adam Mitchel Lambert
Born	January 29, 1982 (1982-01-29) (age 27) Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S.
Origin	San Diego, California, U.S.
Genres	Pop, alternative, rock^[1]
Occupations	Singer-songwriter Actor
Instruments	Vocals
Years active	1992–present
Labels	RCA/19
Website	www.AdamOfficial.com

Adam Mitchel Lambert (born January 29, 1982) is an American singer, songwriter, and actor from San Diego, California. In May 2009, he finished as the runner-up on the eighth season of American Idol.^[2]

Lambert released his debut album, For Your Entertainment, on November 23, 2009,^[3] via RCA Records/19 Recordings. The album debuted at number 3 on the Billboard 200 on the week of December 12, 2009,^[4] selling 198,000 copies in the United States.^[5]

Too much loading...

2010-01-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

guess what?i'm not gonna say wat happened,i'm not gonna mantion any single word about it,and, i'm not gonna explain it to some one els .= =''

k,1st,i got so terkejut ,and den i cool down myself.
after tat,i caml my emotions,and put some attn on it.

an den...a strong feeling of sadness went in to my nerves,
and i was like "OMG....hw can it be...." .
i silence....for like 10minutes.
and continue ...
finish ,my tears wanted to drop,but end up it didnt. why?bcoz i GOT MAD.

i know,its none of my damn business,but wat cn i do??
i still hav feelings in mind man!
i was sad,
and feeling so helpless to wat happened,
so what?!
its none of my **** business!!
why care??

i dont know,maybe its juz bcoz,
I CARE FOR IT.

none of this shit would had happen,
if it wasnt for **,
none of this feelings would had appear,
if it wasnt for ***,
none of this would i care,
if it wasnt bcoz of ****.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzz
zzz

i hate it when i got MAD.
I HATE IT.

..................................
........................
............

in a sudden,i felt thr was something or someone was talking in my mind:

SHUT UP !
THIS IS NONE OF UR ******* BUSINESS!
AND STAY OUT OF IT!
STAY COOL!
BE WISED!
NOT BEING EMOTIONAL U IDIOT!!

yeah,guess who was it?
yes,its me,myself.

i was talking to myself,
thinking by myself,
guessing by myself.
i dont ask,i act like i dont care and dont mind,
what's the use? huh??tell me wat's the use of it?!

thr is too much questions loading in my mind....
i cant solve it by myself...
all i can do is wait.
and smile to each cuming day.

Feelings...

2010-01-07T08:48:00.000-08:00

every human being has feelings,

every kind of feelings give us different intentions,

so,

sometimes something get into my nerve,i'm really MAD!!

even a tiny problem can make me mad for a few days.

and then after finishing my 'madness',comes the 'worried' feeling.

after mad,comes worried.

worried??

about what?

i dont know....

juz worried about lots of things....

worried about the things i care....worried about everything i care n love would be gone in juz a while...............

what i'm trying to say is,i care too much about it.

why bother?bcoz its MINE?am i selfish??

or should i say,quit fighting with me!

every single things i loved n cared about will be LIKED by u too!!!

why?!why do u want to take it away from me?!why do u want to share it with me??why do u even want to have wat i've ever wanted?!!

what's wrong with you?!

are u pure??or juz plain clumsy??or u're evil all this while?!

many small matters get into my nerves when it comes around you,i hate it! i hate tat feeling!!

nomatter what happens,it must go on.

2010-01-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

it has been quite sometime since i've decided which college to go......
i tot after decided whr to go i would be free a little,but who knows,more and more questions are cumming into my mind!!

when should i register?
how do i go ?
transport?
payment?
loans?
plans after studying in thr?
how to pay?
pay for how long?
....
....
....
....

question none stop!!!!
i'm sick of it!!!

BUT,
as for my buddy....compare us, i kinda pity him though==''

parents orders,cant say NO.
i even think : he doesnt has a single choice.
its true, if he can choose,it wont be complicated,but no,he cant.
night by night we chat in msn,he's sharing everything he had in mind with me...
every single problem.
its a shame tat i cant do anything for him though,i know he has problems, but i cant do anything.
izit me? or wat?
izit my fault for all this?

**thinking....

NO!
wat did i do??to disurve this compliment??
its not me! i go my own road,nobody's following my steps!so,quit saying tat its my fault for all the blaming!!i dont mind being blame for it,but messing with my frends future its not a good thing to hear abt!i know is none of my business,so i wont care to over for this.....

i'm sorry...i cant keep it for so long....i'm telling the truth,and truths dont lie.
ask yourself, do u even hav a choice,my dear friend?
but...nomatter wat happens..wat's the conclusion,i'll still be the ME u'll know...i'm wiling to hear from u,i'm willing to handle problem with u,as long as we're still buddies.
so, smile XD~

my last decision**

2010-01-04T07:28:00.000-08:00

SAITO it is....

i hope i can manage to achive my dreams from here....

where i start,where i end.

i wont regret.

i wont complain.

i will work hard.

i will learn more.

i will experience better.

i have to be myself in this,i have to trust myself in this,

mum, dad,i have think long enough to make this choice,i'm not going in bcoz of useless reason,its bcoz i really want to study,i want to learn more,i want to be special when i came out.

to the worlds best-est parents:

thank you, di, mi. i love you guys.^^muacks!

my choice

2010-01-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

i have 2 choices: THE ONE ACADEMY & SAITO

i love THE ONE,i love it because i think they really got the quality .
i want to come out with the results like THE ONE.
i want myself to do better.
i want my creations known by others.
i want to be special.

but,
i dont know so well about THE ONE yet...
i dont know is there any plans after i graduated from THE ONE.
well it be like SAITO?

non of the students graduated from SAITO is jobless.
and they hav such attractives fees and reasonable periods of studying.
ppl can graduated in earlier age from SAITO.

but,
i dont know SAITO hav the quality to help me do so anot...
i dont know SAITO hav the chance for me to achive my dreams anot...
will the results be like THE ONE when i graduated?

questions are in my mind....
i love THE ONE,but i also like SAITO...

i want to be resulted like THE ONE，i feel comfertable to be in SAITO....

which one is my choice?

THE ONE?
or
SAITO?

###

s-o-r-r-y

2010-01-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

对不起，
明明是你的生日，还搞到你那么不开心。
对不起，
我们不知道你不能迟回，就做了决定。
对不起，
我们没能了解情况，就误会了你。
对不起，
那天我们只是想到了自己，却没有想到你。
对不起，
我们不应该因为你和姐妹在一起，而忽略了你。
对不起，
因为是你的生日，所以我们没能把真相告诉你。

对不起，
我们在最后一年留下了最不愉快的生日给你。
对不起，
一定不会有下次了，一定。

我能说的，只有“对不起，臭baby.”

Firmiliar Stranger

2009-12-27T08:56:00.000-08:00

juz went to McQ's blog,and saw some pics of her DEAR~~

which is a friend i've known for 5 years,a guy i've crushed for 4 years,and now, a stranger that's firmiliary appeared in my life.

who's he?
i dont know,i cant even tell do we even know each other.
how did we met?
erm...the 1st year in secondary school.
he's hot,
of course he's hot,this guy is one of our school's top popular people in mind.
the only drummer which sentence out with different souls inside,
the guy with lots of crusher among students,
the guy with a pretty-little face.

there's no reason why he's that hot-spotted in school.
he can take people's attention easily and i dont know what's the main reason.
is it because he's really that attractive?
maybe ,for some people,maybe not, for some other people.

BUT,

all of this nonsence is none of my business,i'm just feeling a little curious about this guy.
he is INDEED,an attraction ,and bringing a brightly smile to people,nowonder he has so much crusher.all i've heard,he's many girl's dream guy.

**
McQ,no effens ok,i'm just saying= =''
your DEAR is INDEED a very special guy,you are lucky that he has choosen YOU to be his ONLY ONE.

Wishes to 2 of you couples~^^~blek~~**

Tagged by Fishii-Queen~

2009-12-25T23:35:00.000-08:00

■开始■

关于我

★姓名★ 刘幸扬

★马来文名★ Low Hsin Yang

★洋名★ Yang Yang

★花名★ Yang

★生日★ September 30th

★星座★ Libra

★生肖★ Monkey

★体高★ 170cm

★体重★ 52kg

★来自★ Earth(?)

★宗族★ Chinese

★信仰★ Buhddis(?)

★嗜好★ Drawings,Reading(Comics),Make-up Stories

★兴趣★ Arts and Designs

★怪癖★ I like to be BAD although I'm not= =...

★性格★ Quite,Stay cool,dont talk much

★职业★ Graduated Student

★愿望★ I want the WORLD to know my creations!

★地址 - [cant tell]

★电子邮件★ tkayama_sholian@hotmail.com

Favourite

★颜色★ the one and only RED, or black.

★卡通★ -Kuroshitsuji and Detective Conan!

★花朵★ -roses(?) or NONE

★音乐★ Japanese Anime Theme, and English songs

★食物★ Spegetti and Maccaroni!

★饮料'★ Mango and Orange JUICE

★衣服★ Depends on what style...

★裤子★ Depends on what style...

★裙子★ Depends on what style...

★穿着★ Simple and nice,or classic and elagent

★造型★ Like to make it Special*

★国家★ Japan and England

★艺人★ Michael Jackson!

★帅哥★ Him*

★美女★ -Her*

★物品★ -My collection of WATCHES!

★季节★ Autom

★动物★ Dogs

★发型★ long and slightly curly

★节目★ Anime

★电影★ AVATAR!!!!

★科目★ English

★运动★ Swimming

★朋友★ BF-MeiYeng,YiLing;BP-002

★模特儿★ [Dont know dont care]

★造型师★ [Dont know dont care]

★座右铭★ 我有我的风格,看到红色就代表看到我

★华语歌★ [NONE]

★英文歌★ [Alot...]

★马来歌★ [NONE]

★广东歌★ [NONE]

★福建歌★ [NONE]

★电视剧★ none

★遗憾之事★ [Dont have it yet]

★若时光能倒流？★ Hope to be more ACtive

★若选择一个人永远爱你？★ [cant tell by me...= =]

★若自己是亿万富翁★ [dont know when only will be me]

★若有一天醒来，发现自己的样子变成金城武／蔡依林，你会？★ still think i'm asleep.

★若有三个愿望★ [cant tell what wish i'll make. SECRET*]

★面包／爱情★ Love

★雨天／晴天★ Daylight

★爱情／自由★ Freedom

★黑／白★ Black

★海边／山上 ★ beach

★唱歌／跳舞★ Singing

★美貌／性格★ Character

★平淡。轰烈的日子★ Exciting

★相信／提防★ aware

★头脑好／性格好★ good brain

★干皮肤／油皮肤★ [does it matter??]

★金钱／快乐★ Happiness

★目前快乐吗？★ Yeap

★朋友对你好吗？★ Not bad

★你受朋友欢迎吗★ i dont know. cant tell for myself.

★好朋友是？★ the only one who knows me well.

★单身／恋爱★ single

★相信一辈子吗？★ nope

★喜欢自己吗？★ of course

★相信自己吗★ yeap

★悲观／乐观★ be bright

★若说最后一句话就哑口，你会？★ "BYE BYE"

★若明天世界末日，你会？★ this is a special day to rmb= =

★若你爱的人明天离开你，你会？★ let go, dont ever come back.

★最喜欢的一句话★ "Be yourself , find your colour in life."

我...

○时尚吗？ always tease by my freinds

○哪风格？ Cool

○优点？ friendly..?

○缺点？ less confident

○ｓｐｍ有信心吗？i'm done with it.

○认为自己可以拿几科A？ nope,never hope for that.

－什么科？maybe only for some subject i think i can.

娱乐八卦题

★崇拜的艺人★ Michael Jackson

★能为他神魂颠倒的艺人★ NONE

★搞笑的艺人★ none

★讨厌的艺人★ none

★欣赏的艺人★ none

★漂亮的艺人★ none

★甜美的艺人★ none

★可爱的艺人★ none

★古典美艺人★ none

★气质型艺人★ none

★实力派艺人★ none

★帅哥型艺人★ none

★新加坡的七公主里你喜欢？★ dont know who...

★最登对艺人★ none

★有想过当艺人吗？★ nope

點名：
-Jason

- 001

- 002

- 004

- 005

- 006

- Vicky

- BiJing

- ShiePing
-Yen-Chan
-Melisa Yee

×痛快×的圣诞节！

2009-12-25T06:14:00.000-08:00

今天，爸妈没有做工，我们全家人都接近11.30am才起床= =.......

过后就洗刷，妈妈下楼煮早餐，吃了后我们就去我们的姨妈家，因为是圣诞节，所以就打算陪她。

到了姨妈家....
skip skip skip....

在那边几个小时后，突然间听见妈妈的喊叫声，很大声地喊着我和2个弟弟叫我们出去家门外，我还以为发生什么事，谁知道是我们这一家和姨妈的变态邻居吵架，几乎打起来那种！
天啊！我们三个就跑出去帮手，不是劝架，是加一把经帮嘴大骂！！我们已经忍他们很久了！！终于可以骂了！！

爸爸和小弟弟最狼的！！爸爸拿起铁棍，小弟弟拿拖鞋（临时找不到“武器”= =），如果不是阿姨他们拉着他们两个，已经就打下去了！！大弟弟就骂骂骂骂骂！！！我也是骂骂骂骂骂！！！妈妈也是骂骂骂骂骂！！！阿姨也是骂骂骂！！

****总之，下次才告诉你们为什么我们那么火大吧！！现在有急事！

缺乏的“东西”

2009-12-21T01:56:00.000-08:00

一直在怀疑着...我的个人、本体，像似缺乏了一样“东西”...未能知道是什么...深深的思考...得到的只是越来越多的疑问。

中学毕业了，负担也变重了。因为向中学道别之后，就是踏入社会之时，也是时候该让自己变成熟了。
我的前途？
当然是在Creative line 啦！
那要在几时开始？
等SPM成绩咯...
那决定要读哪里了吗？
[沉默]......
清楚自己要读哪一项了？
[沉默].......
为什么不回答？
因为我还没得到自己真正想要的答案。

昨天跟爸妈去PWTC的edu fair,原本找不到的，一进就进到什么food festival，出到来才发现还需要上多一楼。到了时候，原本一眼看进去的却是一位有很多间 U n pre-U的，怎知道没有几十间而已。

一进到去，就看到Inti 和Limkokwing。
我爸妈最赞成我去读的U。结果没经我意就去和工作人员问这个那个了。
虽然自己真的很不喜欢，只好忍着那股气，陪他们问。
不过........
听听下，开始对它改观了，除掉对它负面的谣言，只专注它的益面，确实是不错的。而且价钱也蛮理想的...过后就看到saito colldg,这间也不错...因为这间可以直接读自己要读的科系，不需要浪费一年读Foundation,不过，依我的看法，作为一个在creative line发展的人，每一样design都学一点一点，不是很好吗？这样的工作范围也变大了，不是吗？
fashion,interial desgn,multimedia,advertising,digital filming,bla bla bla....
贪心的我真的很想每一样都学一点一点...不过有些人认为如果你确定了自己的项目，就直接专注那一项，不必要浪费钱去读"rojak subject"(foundation)。
这间的好处就是，如果当天报名的话，他们就能free一台laptop给你。上RM3000的Laptop...因为只设计用的电脑，所以那些program都很多款。

过后就是TheOneAcademy。我的Dream colldg,也是我爸妈不太喜欢的一间。不过还是进去问问了，我得到了最新一步的资料，原来现在我才发觉到，原来theOne的学费真的很贵！
除了要选自己喜欢的科系，也该考虑父母的本事，如果他们没有能力供自己，我也不去那一间了。
可是我真的真的很喜欢theOne...他们的Standart不输给Limkokwing咯！我爸也承认TheOne真的有艺术风范，Limkokwing就比较看不出啦，可是他觉得Lkw的system很好噢...

除了这些，我觉得自己缺乏了信心...无论我做什么都好，都会觉得自己做得不够好，都会害怕接受批评...可是我也清楚知道，没有这些批评，是不会进步的。

我的梦想到底能不能实现？？
我很想很想读the One,可是我能那么自私让父母那么辛苦....难道我真的要去读我一直以来都反对去读的Lkw吗？？

快疯了——!

2009-12-09T21:15:00.000-08:00

为什么

为什么——————————!!!!

我就快到极限了!!!忍耐也有限!!

恶作剧也不该这么恶法吧?!

拿我最重要的东西来说笑! 你以为很好玩吗?!

我可不是次次都有办法做不出声的!!写一封无聊的道歉信就算了吗?!

你是你!我是我!

请你别把我和你的恶魔立场比较!!

我是个有自己风格的恶魔!!!我不是你!!我不会玩心理战术,我不会一眼就看穿别人的心!

我只是会切切低低去憎恨一个曾经的罪过我的人!!!!!!!

虽然说一个人的内心如果堆满着仇恨的话,是于事无补的,只会制造更多不必要的麻烦,

可是如果失去这份恨意,我无法面对所有的问题,我没有那一份勇气去面对...

我不想失去这份恨意!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

大考中的冲动

2009-12-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

SPM大考还剩下2科：Chemistry, BC.

不知道为什么呢...大考的这段日子里...我沉重的思考了一件事情...得到结论之后,却有股冲动想去办。
但这样一来，我不愿意接受即将发生的后果...为了自己，也为了一个朋友.

或许是因为大考的时间很长,也很静,所以我才会那么认真的思考怎么去处理这件事...犹豫了很久,疑问了很久...还是没有那股“立刻去办”的勇气。

我想拿出来和好朋友商量，可是他们都忙于读书温习，我怎么开得了口呢？
就算我拿出来当话题，他们会不会说我自讨苦吃？这样的话，只会让我心情更加降落低潮。

你们愿意听我说诉吗？
不知道呢...以我的个性...

算了，还是自己吭下吧...一人做事一人当，与其把别人卷进来，倒不如自己想个办法去解决。

**

我能吗?

2009-11-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

大考明明已经在前面了，只差等着我去迎接它而已。

不温习，不读书，连看也不看多一眼，只是对着电脑，放空。

静下来，看看朋友们的blog，看看他们的心情日记，看看他们的喜悦，看看他们的埋怨...埋怨？是吗？想着这个标题，我心想：他们真的可以放松心情把自己的感受写出来吗？就算说了得罪人的话，也不理会？

我经常都很想把自己的真正感受写出来，可是我一直都没有那份勇气。为什么？因为我顾虑到如果被当事人看到的话，我们之间的友谊就会存着一道裂痕。就算不是裂痕，我们之间也会有了一点摩擦。我不希望我会被他们讨厌，更不希望会被他们说我做作。

是这样吗？

我连自己心里所想的，是真的还是假的，也分不清楚了。因为我一直给借口自己去掩饰心里的那一份心情。忧伤、愤怒、介意、讨厌一一都找了借口去掩饰，让自己不要再去想。

可是能吗？

难道这样就能盖过我心里一直以来所累积的所有感受吗？

不....我不能。

有时候真的好想要一位朋友能够让我不必对他抱有任何介怀地把心里的感受统统发泄出来。因为对他没有防备心，所以才大胆地向他说诉。他不会用奇异的眼光看着我，他不会对我起任何疑心，他能够了解我的烦恼，他能够体谅我的心情...只是静静地，聆听着我说的每一句话...帮不上忙也没关系，静静地聆听就好......

如果能够有这么样的一位朋友，那该多好。

可是，这，怎么也轮不到我的份。

[与其让身边的朋友替我忧伤，倒不如默不出声让自己承受。]

戏子

2009-11-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

刚才看了DVD《与敌同行》。
是郭晋安和郑嘉颖主演的。

ps顺到一提：郑嘉颖真是帅到爆!!!!!>>>___<<<

嘉颖在这一部电视剧里是扮演张承希的角色,是一个被冤枉杀了人而坐了10年牢的年青少年。（打好前途就这样浪费了10年！！还是被冤枉的那种！！气死了>_<）

而晋安在这一部电视剧里是扮演唐立言的角色，也就是冤枉了承希杀了人的真正凶手,演得蛮得人讨厌的==...

承希为了最查当年的真凶而在戏里当了“戏子”，这就是我最佩服的地方!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

戏子的原则就是，骗到人就是成功。
戏子自知上了舞台，就再也不是真正的自己。
戏子也知道，他能够骗得了所有的人，但他始终骗不了自己。

戏子为了演好自己本分，牺牲了不少自己关心的人。
这，就是代价。

我超佩服这一点!!!简直是爱上了他!!哈哈~~

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

考试还剩下几天，我书都还不甘愿读，只顾着画漫画，我真的不知道怎么写个[死]字。
因为我觉得我的前途不需要牵涉到我的学业，所以我根本没有那份“求学”的精神。
或许对你们来说我很傻，傻到极点。
但至少我有自知自明，我还没毕业，我还是个form5的学生，所以我还有责任要把书读好。
就算我还有1天时间，我也会尽我的能力把我的学业搞好，虽然不能像你们那样那full A,可是我会利用我这11年所学到的东西去应付这一次的大考，我并不想让别人说我读白书，我只想要别人承认我的能力。既然我的能力只能升到如此，我的能力就是如此了。我知道我很懒惰，但我也跟你们一样，也会有紧张的时候，也会紧张这一次的大考。

我也有我的梦想，为了这个梦想，我必须努力奋斗！我必须做好准备，应付接下来的挑战！我要全世界都承认我的漫画！我想让他们知道，现实生活中，也能够充满虚幻的快乐和希望！就是因为世界上太多“不可能”，太多“没有”了！我要把这些“不可能”和“没有”，都记载在我的漫画里！我要让他们知道，在我的世界里！所有的虚幻就是我的真实！！

[恶魔也会有愤怒时候别逼我下最后的棋子你可会后悔一世!]